Rain

June 11, 2009

           

I struggled to pry myself from the land of dreams and return to reality and having to deal with the fact that my sister had been taken advantage of by a man I idolized. It was all starting to make sense, why she hated this town and the people residing in it. I thought about calling her, but what would I even say? Would she even answer? No one had heard from my sister in months, at least no one I talked to. Maybe it was time to read again, it had been four days since I opened the book. Four days since I had been a fly on the wall in Liz's life. I wasn't sure I could open the book today. Perhaps, tomorrow would be better. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

I walked past the door several times throughout the day, hoping I would get the courage to enter. I never did. Every time I touched the door handle, my eyes watered and my heart broke, there was nothing I could do to take the pain away from my sister and it was ripping me apart. On my way from the kitchen from my room I tried once more to enter the room and had the same result, I went to my bedroom and cried. I decided it was time to call her, even know I didn't know what I would say, I needed to say something. The phone rang for several minutes before going to voicemail, the same result my mother got every day.

These days my mother was a mess, she was certain that my sister was dead in a ditch somewhere, I was certain she just couldn't face us. I think she can't stand the thought of talking to anyone in this town, we are the reminder that he exists, that what happened to her wasn't just some dream, it was real. A loud knock tore me from my daydream, causing me jump holding my hand over my chest.

"Jade, are you okay sweetie?" My mother called form the other side of the door. I didn't know how to answer, but I knew I had to answer or she'd come storming in here giving me a lecture about ignoring her. "Yeah, I'm fine Mom." I replied as cheerful as I could muster, it must have failed because my mother opened the door shortly after I answered and stood in the door way. She looked tired, exhausted even, dark circles surround her eyes making her look sickly.

"Something wrong Mom?" I asked trying not to burst into tears, I couldn't help but think about Liz and Chaz and how it's possibly my fault. If it wasn't for my selfishness maybe she wouldn't have got raped and maybe she would actually talk to us. My mother stared at me with an expression that gave away the lie she was about to tell "I'm fine." She muttered as if it was an everyday occurrence that she came to talk to me. Our eyes locked, and I couldn't hold it in any longer, I burst into tears causing my mom wrap her small arms around me hugging me close. I started to rock back and forth sobbing into my mom's shoulder "I miss her." I cried as I wrapped my arms around her crying harder. "I know dear, I do too." She said, now starting to cry herself.

We cried for fifteen minutes before we got ahold of ourselves and sat there in a silent embrace for another ten. Eventually my mother looked down at me and said the most meaningful thing she had ever said me "You look so much like her, seeing you every day is almost like having her here." My eyes watered but a tear didn't shed, not this time. I gave her a tight hug, she stood up and left the room without another word. Hearing those words from my mother made me realize that I had to keep reading, I had to find out what happened after the rape, and I had to eventually find Chaz Foreman. I was determined not to let him get away with what he had done, even if the law wouldn't punish him, I would somehow. I started planning me revenge and slowly drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the horrible things that would happen to Chaz when I found him, hopefully I woke with a smile. Tomorrow, we delve back into the world of Elizabeth, tomorrow we get more answers.