Rain

June 12, 2009 Part 2

Her intense stare caused me to look down, we stood in silence for a while, neither of us knowing what to say. Her hands still on my shoulder she tilted my head up and flashed a smile, one that let me know that she was here when I was ready to talk. At the moment I'm pretty sure that time will never come. I gave a half smile pack wiping some tears on the back of my hand. She observed me one more time before turning and making her way down the stairs. My mouth opened to say something, but all that come out was silence, I didn't have the heart to tell my mother her daughter had been raped and never told her.

My eyes returned to the floor, my mind racing through all the new information, my body motionless, almost as if someone was standing behind me pushing on my shoulders not allowing me to move. The only sound throughout the entire house was my mother's footsteps as she descended down the stairs. Each step had an echo as it reached my ears, making her footsteps sound heavier than they actually were. In this moment, right here, right now I knew that my mother was there for me regardless. I also realized that I, owed her, and my sister an apology.

That is, if I could ever figure out why my sister never calls, writes, or visits anymore. Part of me was convinced she had changed her name and started a new life, away from this town, away from the pain she shouldered on her own. Part of me was also convinced that there was a very real possibility that my sister wasn't even alive. The thought sent a cold chill up my spine causing me to shiver, it wasn't time to think like that, not yet. The only place that had the answer I was seeking, was in that book. However, I was certain my mother would be watching me more closely now, perhaps I should just tell her about it? I shook my head quickly at the thought of destroying my mother's happiness.

It was time to get some answer from the source, if I couldn't ask my sister, I would ask Chaz. The thought of speaking to that man made me want to throw up, but he was my only connection to Liz right now, my only source of information. A sigh of disgust escapes my lip as I pull my phone out of my pocket dialing Chaz's number. The rings seems to go on forever, then finally a voice on the other end of the phone answered "Hello this is Chaz." I rolled my eyes at his tone of voice, cocky and arrogant as ever.

"Chaz Foreman?" I asked in almost a whisper as I made my way back to my room closing the door.

"The very same. What can I do for you?"

"You may not remember me." I started to say but he quickly interrupted me.

"Jade Anderson, I know who you are I'm just confused as to why you're calling me. I mean you haven't spoken to me since your sister left town, I apologized that things didn't work out, she was just a –"

"Shut up!" I found myself screaming into the phone, rage had overtaken me and I wasn't sure I could stop it. My entire body started to shake with anger as he spoke, this man, and her rapist was really trying to defend himself to me. I was surprised that there was silence on the other end of the phone, I wasn't sure if he hung up or if I actually scared him.

"If you called to yell, please make it quick, I have things to do Jade." Chaz muttered in a bored tone. A wave of emotions rushed through me like the ocean crashing upon the shore during a storm. There was so much I wanted to say, but I couldn't find the words, my mouth was suddenly dry. "Right then." Chaz said just before he hung up the phone. I wanted to scream I was so angry, but nothing came out, just more hot tears as I fell into my pillow.

I could hear the sound of my mother's footsteps ascending the stairs, I quickly composed myself drying my eyes on the blanket and sitting up against the wall my phone in hand. I struggled to think of something to tell her. I could hear her footsteps getting louder, alerting me that I was running out of time. The footsteps became louder and so did my heartbeat, I could practically hear my heartbeat in my ears. It was like a drum banging to its own beat, the closer she got the louder my heart beat, I know she will be able to tell I've been crying. I was starting to panic as the doorknob turned, her head the only part of her body that poked around the corner.

"Jade, honey who are you yelling at?" Her voice is so soft as she speaks, laced with concern and love. I could feel the water in my eyes start to build, unfortunately this dam was about to break. Hot tears started streaming down my face "He raped her." I mumbled through the sniveling as my mother sat on the bed next to me, putting her arm around me. "Who raped who dear?" she asked, her voice now not as soft, not as calm. "He did, he raped her." I struggled to find the names as I leaned against it, I desperately wanted to yell it to the world by my brain wouldn't come up with the names.

"He who sweetheart."

"He, him." I cried out through the sobbing, my hands shaking as I pointed towards Liz's room. My mother didn't say anything at first, she just rocked me back and forth. Through the watery eyes I can see a look of confusion, she most likely is thinking I'm off my rocker.

"Jade, calm down and explain what you're talking about. There is no he in Liz's room. Are you seeing things?"

A scoff escaped my mouth as I pulled away from her "Never mind mom." I said softly, still unable to produce the names or the words to help her make sense of my pain. A heavy sigh came from her as she kissed the top of my head and made her way out of my room. She gave me one last bright smile before shutting the door and making her way back down the stairs without a word. At first I felt relief but now all I feel is confusion and pain, I wasn't sure why she didn't push for an answer, but I knew it was killing her to see me like this. I had to read more, I had to find out what happened after all this, why she decided to leave and where she might have gone. I took a deep breath, got out of bed opening my door, there was nothing but silence, no TV, no radio, just silence. Did my mother leave? There was no way she could have left without me hearing her.

I took one step into the hallway and the floorboard creaked, I froze awaiting the words of my mother. Nothing came, I took another step and the board creaked again causing me to freeze once more, still nothing. The next step I took put me at the top of the stair case, she wasn't anywhere to be seen. I took one step towards Liz's room and the floor made an awful whining sound, I winced at the sound freezing in place listening to the sounds throughout the house. Nothing but the sounds of children playing outside, dogs barking in the distance. I started to shake my head at my constant worry opening the door to Liz's room. The door opened and I screamed backpedaling into the railing behind me.

"Mo- Mom?" I stuttered looking at her in shock. "Wh-what are you doing in here?" I asked as I got to my feet. She gave me a soft smile with her ruby red lips "I was going to ask you the same thing. Are you going to tell me why you keep coming in here?" A look of concern followed the question. Is it possible she really doesn't know about the diary? The look on her face certainly backed up that theory. "I just miss Liz. I feel closer to her in here." I lied looking at her with a fake smile. "I miss her too." My mother said softly as she stood up, "Just don't move anything okay? You know she hates that." She said with a smile as she walked past me, it sounded like she was expecting her to come back home. Maybe that's what keeps her going, hope. My phone vibrated, a text from Chaz "Let's meet up ;)." I scoffed ignoring it, I decided it's best to read tomorrow, when everything has calmed down. The rest of the night was filled with a mountain of homework. Tomorrow, I hopefully find out if my sister is alive. "Good night Liz."