Desired Love

In love

Tay P. O. V.

I'm screwed. I lost my girlfriend, my best friend, and respect from my friend. Laying in this bed is like the only sanity and peace I can get from this world. No one called me in weeks mostly because I cut off my phone. It's been a month since I seen Leah, Riley or Mannie but they probably not missing me. It's time to move so I got up and went to the kitchen and made a peanut butter sandwich. I feel like I'm a hobo living on the side of the street with nothing but rations of food to eat. Suddenly, my phone rang and who in the hell turned my phone on?

"Hello?"

"Hey what's up man."

"Mannie? Since when did you check up on me?"

"Since now. Umm bro I got some news. Not sure if it's bad or good to you but Riley found a guy."

My heart sank. It's been a month and she found someone else.

"What do you mean she found a guy?"

"You know what I mean Tay. I'm sorry. You still love Leah?"

"I'll call you back."

I hung up and set my phone down on the kitchen counter walking to the couch. There were two unlit blunts on the ash tray and a lighter next to it with a knife. All these things sounded crazy especially to me because I'm not dumb enough to kill myself over a girl I barely loved but the blunts were tempting. I took the blunt between my thumb and index finger lighting the end and watched the flames rise as it burned the bud of the blunt. I put the blunt between my lips and inhaled deeply feeling the most satisfying release of my body since I started smoking with Leah.

Memories flooded my head with things Leah and I did in the past yet again. The more I inhaled the deeper my thoughts were. Through it all, I never knew how much this feeling could hold me over. Time passed by with each breath I exhaled of smoke coming out my mouth. The room became darker and my eyes heavier. I wasn't sure if it was the effect of Riley moving on or Leah holding back but something made me feel so angry inside I couldn't tell.

The phone rang again but it sounded like a blurry ring once I blocked the sound out. Blunts get me high so fast I barely feel a thing. I was too wide awake even though I probably look so tired that my body would fall out any second. That's the good thing about getting high. Getting high deceives people's eyes into thinking that something else is happening to you when it's the exact opposite. Any drug does that and I'm happy as fuck it's invented. It gives me time to think instead of being bothered by people who thinks I'm wide awake. The doorbell rang but I didn't answer it. The annoying sound soon became clear as it kept ringing and ringing repeatedly which boiled me. I got up to answer the door and thought it would be Mannie but as my eyes widened, there she was standing right in front of me.

I couldn't quite figure out what she was doing here. She should be with her boyfriend not with me wasting her time.

"Hey Tay."

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Sure."

This conversation wasn't going anywhere, so I invited her in the house.

"Why'd you come here?"

"To see you. I'm sorry about what happened at the bowling alley."

"It's fine. Things happened but I'm the one who's sorry."

"How's life?" I studied her.

Wondering what could possibly be going on in her head. Why did she come here? To see me and gloat from my pain and misery? Not one thing changed but time as it moved on and on with nothing of silence.