Desired Love

I Know

Leah P. O. V.

"You know you're a little bit of a one man whore."

"I am not! I swear that was the last time I'm ever going to have sex with Tay again."

"You said that last time and look where you're at now. Leah, it's time to stop this. Not only are you hurting yourself, you're hurting Tay and Tre. Can't you imagine the look on Tre face if he found out you been sneaking around?"

"Yeah but I only did it three times!"

"That's three times too many. If you really love Tre then you got to come clean with this and tell him. He'll break up with you but at least your conscience would be clear."

The thought of me confessing never entered my mind and I didn't like the thought when she said it.

I sighed. "Okay I will. I'm going to do it today and tell you what happened."

"Okay Leah. Talk to you later and good luck."

I hung up the phone and gotten my keys walking to my car and drove to Tre's house. He was cooking some fried catfish that I could smell as I walked to the door. I knocked and saw him shirtless with glistening abs as if he came fresh from a shower with gray sweatpants followed by a sweet cocoa butter fragrance. He smiled and pecked my lips once he saw me.

"Hey beautiful. What you doing here? I was going to call you anyway."

I listened to the music in the background and mostly had my attention on his abs less than his voice which was unusually deep even though it's five o'clock and he probably just woken up from a nap. This was going to be the hardest break up I had to do in my life because I'm one of the dumb asses that would cheat on a guy like this.

With a weak smile, I asked if we could talk and walked past him to the couch in the living room. I didn't want to see the look on his face when I asked so I tried to avoid his face as much as I could and focus on his eyebrows or something that could distract me from his eyes. The music and stove was turned off and all that was heard was the sizzling grease from the frying fish that soon simmered down. Tre looked at me with a concerned expression as he sat down but all I could feel was my heart beating loud that I could hear it through my ears. My hands started to sweat and air was closing in as the guilt filled inside me. Truly the scariest feeling I ever had that besides the first ride on a roller coaster.

"Baby what's wrong? You okay?"

My eyes remained on the ground and this feeling inside me was too painful to move until I came clean.

"T-Tre. I cheated on you. Three times and I'm so sorry."

The room became silent and all that was heard was breathing and low movement on the couch. Tears filled my eyes and streamed down my face. My body was so stiff and I felt the room around me and looked up to see Tre looking at the floor with his elbows on his knees seeing his jaw clenched and leg moving impatiently fast. I knew he wasn't going to hit me but I was still extremely scared of his next move.

"Was I that bad?" The question surprised me.

"Not even close. This happens to everyone I date. It's just the sex not the love."

He looked at me with confused anger in his eyes like I was crazy.

"So you go out with guys, but cheat on them for sex with someone else every time? What the hell is wrong with you? Did you even love me or like me at all?"

It sliced my heart hearing that from him because I did and still do love Tre than I ever did any guy.

"I do with all of my heart and that's why I told you. I know you would want to break up with me and I hate to lose you. I'm so sorry I done this to you."