[4] Breakeven

5 - Oh...Hi!

5 - Oh...Hi!

I stacked some belts, trying to accomplish an attractive figure. I frowned and tilted my head, not sure if it was working out. Nope, that was most definitely not attractive at all. It had to catch the eye and make you want to buy it, and all it made me want to do at the moment was gag and walk away as fast as I could.

I had already worked here for almost three weeks and I was happy. Eleanor had come by at least twice after our encounter. These times she had came on her own because Louis was already busy with rehearsals for a new tour and recording for the respective album. We had had a better time on our own, no offense to Louis. It was just easier without having to contain ourselves from doing silly things. It was a shame that no other girl could come along with her, though. They were all pretty busy with their own lives. University is pretty demanding and this is a big city anyways.

I smiled tugged at my lips as I remembered those fun times with Eleanor. Going out for a cup of coffee and a slice of pie while laughing out loud at memories of the road trip or just telling each other stories from when we were teenagers.

With those thoughts lightening up my mind, I rearranged the belts until I was comfortable with the way they looked. I turned around just to see Edna looking over my shoulder to see what I had done. A satisfied smile made its way to my lips, so she could see I was proud of what I had done. I was still just the new girl, but I was learning fast and she knew it. “It looks good,” she complimented.

It took me a while to gather up the fact that she had said something nice to me, though. “Thank you,” I chirped, happy to receive a compliment from her. Anyone who knew her could back me up on the fact that she was not one to compliment you or make you feel good about yourself. She enjoyed bringing people down from their cloud nine.

“Don’t get all excited, hobo.” I gaped at her and she only laughed at me.

“Hey! I am not a hobo. I found a place to live in almost two weeks ago!” I protested as I straightened myself to look taller so she could see she did not intimidate me anymore. Well, at least I pretended she did not, I knew she could kick my bum at any time she pleased.

“Whatever you say,” she sang as she walked away, with a victorious grin once again.  

I rolled my eyes and turned around with an amused smile. An amused smile that vanished right away as my eyes landed on someone who had been gazing at me for a while, apparently. Her gaze darkened when her eyes met mine and I could see from afar just how hurt she was. Confusion could be noticed as well, but as soon as our gazes locked, it was as if everything fell back into place. I finally realized I had been ignoring a whole side of me, just like I had been doing when being with Niall. I was just still ignoring the same part I had when I was with him, in all honesty.

It was then when I realized what a huge mistake I had made by shutting her out when all she had ever tried to do was help me and be there for me. I just hoped she could understand I just needed some space, some time for myself. I had forgotten how to breathe and I could hear my heart thumping loudly against my rib cage, threatening to come out at any moment.

A red faced, flushed with anger, small girl looked up at me with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl. “Where the hell have you been?!” Mary grunted as she frowned at me. She fumed through the store towards me and instinctively I took a step back, afraid of what she could do to me. She was a petite girl, but she surely knew how to inflict pain. “It has been four months, Missy!” she pointed out as she glared at me and pointed a finger at me accusatively. I only gulped and crooked a half grin in apology.

“Hi,” I squeaked, not knowing what else to say as I waved stupidly at her.

“You cannot just go missing like that! I was worried about you, you bloody idiot!” she growled and by now she was right in front of me and getting everyone’s attention. The stuck up women stuck the noses even higher in the air, obviously annoyed by the scandal and I knew I had to act quickly or there would be complaining involved.

“I-I’m sorry,” I mumbled, not wanting to get any more attention. People were just starting to look away. And, besides, I was still kind of new here; Lassie could fire me if I was involved in a scandal. And this truly could end in a scandal. My best friend was so mad that I knew if I said the wrong thing she could beat the shit out of me right here. Maybe disappearing without saying anything to her was not the best idea…

“Oh, she’s sorry! Did you hear that? She’s sorry!” she yelped at another customer that was walking by. The middle-aged man frowned at us and walked along, turning around one last time before scurrying away from us.

I sucked a sharp breath in and tugged at Mary’s shirt. “Could we take this somewhere else?” I questioned a bit harshly so that she could see I meant it.

“Why?!” she questioned, still a bit too loudly for my taste and sake.

“Because I work here,” I hissed.

She glared at me some more but let me guide her to the back, to the stocking area and then wriggled herself from out of my grasp. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me expectantly.

“Mary…”

“What, Missy? What?” she questioned in a whisper. That was just like she was, always thinking about everyone else. She would not make much noise anymore now that she knew it could get me fired. Oh boy, I had really messed up when I had decided she was not trustworthy. I would never be able to repay her for this. There was not enough room for compensation.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me. I should have said something. But I needed to leave. To start over. And I needed to do it on my own.”

She closed the door behind her and turned to face me once again. “And you couldn’t even leave a letter explaining it to me?!” she wailed and I could see the tears forming in her eyes.

“I was not thinking clearly. I just ran away,” I mumbled.

“No shit, Sherlock,” she grunted. “I missed you,” she mumbled next and that was all I needed to run into her arms. I was not sure if she wanted me to be anywhere near her, but seeing her made me realize just how much I missed her and I could not help it.

But like always, she proved me wrong as she expected me with them wide open and I hid my face in the crook of her neck, hoping that with this hug I could make her understand everything without a single word. I really hoped that, because I could not utter a single word even if I tried. My throat had gone dry and I knew if I opened it, only sobs would escape.

I could hear my sweet Mary sobbing already, her fragile figure already trembling against mine and I just held on tighter, happy to have encountered her once again. I had missed her as well, oh, so much. But I was not ready to face her. She had got along quite well with Lydia, and whenever I saw her, I would recall those times and feel sick to my stomach.

Now was a different story, though. Lydia was part of me, but I had chosen to only keep the good memories with me. Nothing about her in the hospital anymore. Just us laughing as we daydreamed about Belgium and our late nights with Bruno Mars and reruns of our favorite shows. I was definitely making progress.

I knew that I had to tell all of this to Mary, all I went through with Niall, Kaylie and everyone else in those months, and I would, through a lunch down by the river right now, during my break.