Chapter 5: How To Feel

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Last Time...

"When are you going to ask her?!"- Andi

"I'm not going to rush it." - Bowie

"Dad? Wh-why did Mom leave? - Jonah

"...you deserve to know." - Jonah's Dad

"You had this look of jealousy on your face. Be honest with me, Cyrus. You like Andi, don't you?" - Buffy

"Buffy, I don't like Andi!" - Cyrus

"Who else could it be?" - Buffy

"Y-you like Jonah?" - Buffy

———————

Buffy's POV:
I stared at Cyrus's eyes. "Cyrus. I'm not going to hate you. But please answer the question. Do you like Jonah?"

"I-I don't know." Cyrus mumbled. "I don't know how I feel about him."

"Describe to me how you feel."

"I get nervous when he's around. I always think about how cool and nice he is. I like it when he calls me awesome, and gnarly. But, how do I know this isn't how I feel towards popular people in general?"

I shrugged and smiled. "When you see that popular kid with someone else. For example, when he's with Andi. How do you feel?"

"I feel... a bit disappointed that it's her, and not me that he's paying attention to."

"There's your answer. You like him. As in, more than a friend."

He hugged me. "Buffy. I'm scared."

I hugged back. "It's okay to be scared. But what are you going to tell Andi?"

He pulled away from me. "Nothing."

—————

Jonah's POV:
"Jonah. You've been stalling for like 10 minutes now. If you don't want to talk about your mother, you don't have to." Andi said. "I understand if it's too personal."

I nodded. "Thanks. I thought I could tell you, but... I guess it's still a lot to comprehend."

"Just don't feel like you have to tell me. There's a difference between keeping secrets, and not sharing personal stuff."

I wrapped my arms around her. "Thank you. For being here for me."

"You're welcome. You'd do the same for anyone else."

"I have to go now. See you later." I stood up and walked home.

It's all so much right now. I always knew my mom left, but finding out why is too hard to even think about.

———

When I came home, my dad was passed out on the couch, with another bottle sitting on the table. His snores were always so loud, but I got used to it.

I went to my room and opened my laptop. The thought of what he could do gnawed at me. I checked to see if he was awake, but he wasn't. I typed into the searchbar, "Are alcoholic parents abusive?"

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