Trees (Joshler)

I Want to Say

OKAY WHOOP so ive been gone for a while, yeah, about that. depression is a thing and so are hospitals which arent fun. and i still wont be updating regularly but i will when i can. Danke frens.

T Y L E R 

 he said that. he said it and for once it sounded like he meant it. when ever someone says it they say it in pity and they obviously just dont care. but Josh? he meant it. i can tell. and it means a hell of alot to me.

next thing you know im crying on his shoulder. again. this boy i havent even known for 24 full hours, has let me cry on him multiple goddamn times. 

i immediately stop the tears before they come on too strong and he pulls back.

"i-im sorry about that. probably felt weird to hug you like that"

no. it really wasnt. it felt amazing.

"i-i-i just know what its like to be there. in that same exact spot. i-i thought about jumping from there too many times to count. im sorry you did that, but im here now, if you want that." he shrugged as if he wasn't just offering to put up with my bullshit. he was offering to be my friend. what he hell? i barely know him and all he knows about me so far is that im depressing and that ive tried to kill myself. why would he want to be my friend??

J O S H

i hope he realizes that it means a lot to me that he told me that. it sucks that he did that. i fel so bad, but its not pity.i sincerely feel bad, because he did what i never had enough courage to do. but i want to be there for him so that he doesn't do that again. 

hes too precious to have to go through something like that.

he looked scared. like he was happy i said that but sad at the same time.

the next thing i knew was that he was at the door with his hand on the handle.

"i-i appreciate that Josh. r-really, thank you. but i dont want to put you through that. through me."

he left with nothing else but those sad, wide brown eyes.