Let Us Learn How To Love Together

What Have I Done?

~Major! Trigger! Warning!~

Ryan’s POV~

It’s been 37 days since me and Levi began dating, and today is his birthday. It took a lot of bribing to be able to spend the night at my “friends” house seeing as it’s the day before Christmas. I’m sitting at the usual bench in the park, watching my breath in the crisp nights air. I huddled in my jacket, the one that Levi bought for me… yes he bought me a jacket, a warm one to. Anyway I closed my eyes and sighed. We’ve planned the day to be where we literally watch movies all day and cuddle, which I am down for. I felt someone wrap their arms around my shoulders and I jumped. I open my eyes to see Levi, I instantly calmed down. I snuggled up against him, feeling the heat radiating off of him. He kissed the top of my forehead and I smiled.

“Wanna get going?”

“Yes…”

We got up and got into his car then drove to his house. Once we’re there and inside I pull out the card I made him. I held it shyly behind my back. What if he doesn’t like it? What if it’s to cheesy? He walks up to me, cups my face in his hands and kisses me. When he pulls away I hand him the card. He opens it and his face gets red. When he was done reading it he pulled me into him for a kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and he holds me close. He pulled away and buried his face in my neck and mumbled.

“Thank you baby… that means a lot…”

This time it was my turn to blush. I love it when he calls me baby, it makes me feel special.

“You’re welcome”

He pulls away and drags me to the couch. I sit down and he pops a movie in then cuddles up with me. He has one of those reclining couches and it’s really comfortable. I snuggle up with him as we watch the movie. It’s some sort of Christmas movie with these to brothers and their mother, it’s a claymation movie… At least I think that’s what it’s called. Eventually I hear light snoring and I look up only to see Levi with his eyes closed. I sigh and cuddle back into him, feeling my eyelids get heavy. Right as I started to fall alseep I whispered.

“Happy birthday Levi…”

Then I fell asleep.

~Time Skip To The Next Day~

i woke up alone on the couch with a blanket covering me. I groaned and stretched. I wonder where Levi is. I heard something from the kitchen and I turned my ear to listen.

For we all have our nightmares, even me my dear

From now on if you need me, you can sing this song

There’s a light in the hallway, burning all night long

So count your blessings everyday

It makes the monsters go away every

And everything will be ok

You are not alone

You are right at home

Goodnight.

I know that’s him singing, and let me tell you, he has a beautiful singing voice, and I love it. He walks in carrying two cups of what I presume is coffee. He sits next to me, places the cups on the table and pats my head. I lean in and give him a quick kiss.

“I really like the card you gave me, heck I love it.”

I smiled when I noticed it was on his TV stand. He lifts up his arm and I cuddle up with him. He strokes my shoulder and I sighed.

“I love you…”

I burried my head in his chest and blushed.

“I love you to…”

I love being with him, heck, I’m in love with him…

“What time is it.”

“It’s… 12:34”

“Oh shit… I have to be home about 2 and a half hours ago!”

He huggged me against him tightly and I felt his shoulders shake. Is he… Is he crying?

“I’m sorry…”

“It...Its fine...lets just get going then.”

He released me and I got up. His eyes are slightly red and I feel guilty. I hang my head as I began packing my stuff up and then stood by the door. I looked up at him and he avoided eye contact with me. The drive back was silent and he kept his eyes on the road. Once we arrived at the house we usually drop me off at I quickly get out of the car. I watch as he drives off. I wonder what that was about… I feel like it’s my fault… what if he doesn’t love me anymore? What if he never did? Are we breaking up? I feel tears form in my eyes as I walk the rest of the way “Home”. I don’t even bother wiping the tears from my eyes as I enter my house. I speed walk to my room and lock myself in. Stan doesn’t get back until 4 so I have alittle time to myself. I curl up under my blankets and let the rest of the tears out. I’m so stupid! I just… What is so wrong with me?! I cuddle up with my pillow as the last tears fell out. After a while I fell to sleep.

~Time Skip~

I woke up feeling like shit. I looked at my phone and saw no texts and it was 3:00. I sigh and pull myself out of bed. I look in the mirror and instantly begin to cry. How could I let this happen? What have I done? What is wrong with me? Instinct kicks in and I head to the bathroom. My mom and sister are sitting on the couch watching something and I sneak into the bathroom silently. I close the door behind me, I open the cabinet and find exactly what I’m looking for. I grab a cup, filling it up with water and set it on the counter. I then grab the bottle of pills, open it and shove all of them in my mouth. I grab the water and down the pills then sit on the toliet. About 25 minutes go by and I start to feel dizzy. I smile to myself as I know it’s started working. I begin shaking and my head feels like it’s been hit with a brick. I cry out as I crumple onto the floor in pain. I hear knocking on the door before slipping into hopefully a darkness that’ll be forever.

~~~~~~~~

Hey y’all, I know I changed when Ryan got there from December to November but it fit better with the story. Anyway, I hope you like’d this chapter and the cliffhanger. Y’all should feel lucky because I’ve been experiencing major writers block so here it is. And I’ll see y’all next chapter!