"Alright." Ryan whispered, kissing my cheek as he sat up in bed "I'm going to work now."
"Okay." I nodded, swallowing hard as I rubbed the bruises that had formed on my wrist from all the grabbing in recent weeks.
"Don't leave the house." He warned "Mmkay?"
"Yeah I know." I nodded quietly, not turning to look at him.
"Okay cool." He smiled "Just keeping you safe, so many men would take advantage of you." He grinned sweetly, pulling his shirt on "I'll see you at five."
"See you at five." I hummed quietly, watching as he left the room to get ready for work.
About two hours after he left, I text Con to make sure our plans were still in place. Once he confirmed, I got out of bed and showered, desperately trying to scrub the purple bruises from my skin, once it was clear that I was only making the problem worse I got out of the shower and began to get ready, throwing on one of Ryan's long sleeved tops because it came down over my hands, meaning there was no way Con would see the bruises.
Next I moved on to packing concealer on under my eyes and above my left eyebrow where the remnants of last week still lingered.
After about an hour of making myself look presentable I text Con saying he could come and pick me up, within the next twenty minutes I was sat opposite Tristan awkwardly sipping a cup of coffee as Con, James and Tris made conversation.
"It's so nice to see you without Ryan." Con smiled "I've missed you mate." He grinned, pushing me slightly "Let's do it more often Yeah?"
"Mhm." I forced a smile, stirring the froth on top of the coffee.
"Yeah it's nice to see you again." Tris smiled, he looked drunk, probably was, or maybe that's just how he looked. He still looked ill and as if he had no will to live, which was so sad because he was so gorgeous, what I wouldn't do to help him turn his life around, I'd do anything to make him feel better about life.
"Yeah, you too." I smiled quietly, looking up at the blond "Nice to see you too."
"So what have you been up to Brad?" Tris smiled to me as James and Con wandered into their own conversation "I never get a chance to talk to you."
"Oh- uh, I don't really do anything? I've mainly been sitting at home singing songs to myself aha." I replied awkwardly "What about you?"
"Same." He admitted "Well, without the singing, sitting at home and smoking I guess."
"I've become a bit of a recluse." I joked, making light of my forced isolation "I just feel no need to go out anymore."
"Yeah same." The blond agreed "Depression sucks ass."
"Uh, I'm not depressed." I denied, shaking my head. 'Forgetting' about the breakdowns, the relapses into old habits. "Such a shame you are though, but I'm glad you're out now, that's nice."
"Yeah." He hummed, swallowing hard "How's-uhhhh-Ryland?"
"Ryan." I corrected, laughing a little "Yeah he's alright, alright, but I'm sure you know what some guys are like and all that."
"Yeah." He hummed "Guys can be shit."
"...I wasn't saying that." I replied "He can be a bit dismissive and that's all, it's nothing really."
"Are you sure?" He whispered, very very quietly "...It's okay if everything isn't okay." He told me, reaching out and placing his hand don top of mine before I abruptly pulled it away.
"Everything is okay." I refused "I wouldn't stay with anyone who doesn't recognise my worth."
"...Okay Brad." Tris nodded softly "Just know you can trust me, if you ever need to."
"Of course." I smiled a little as I saw him pull a pen out of his pocket and write his number on a napkin, sliding it across to me, making me raise an eyebrow at him.
"For if you're ever lonely at home on your own." He smiled a little "Or if you just need a friend."
"Cheers." I nodded, picking the napkin up and folding it, sliding it into my back pocket.
"Ooh getting his number, cheeky." Con winked. What he didn't know was that this number would never make it into my phone, I was only allowed His, Ryan's and my mother's contact in it.
"Yeah." I blushed, covering up the doubt that momentarily graced my features "Don't tell Ryan." I joked, but I was secretly pleading.
"Ooh." Con teased "I might just have to let him know how cheeky you're being, too cheeky for me."
"N-no!" I pleaded momentarily, out of the corner of my eye I saw Tris' complacent and content expression change to one of worry at my sudden outburst "...Please don't. I love him too much for him to hate me for even a minute."
"Awh." Con smiled "that's so cute!"
"Yeah." I swallowed "Uh, If You'll excuse me, I'm going to the toilet." I smiled, excusing myself and heading to the bathroom as I felt panic gripping my rib cage. Locking around my bones as I fought with the air for oxygen I desperately needed. I locked myself in a cubicle and sat on the toilet, using it as a seat as I began attempting to take deep breaths, my head resting between my knees, knowing that was the best position for letting this pass.
Pull yourself together.
About five minutes later my panic had subsided and I was left feeling exhausted and faint, barely knowing what to do with myself. I knew that this wasn't normal and had only set in a few months ago, and that I should really speak to a professional, but at the same time, I knew there was no point if I could just deal with it myself, no point in making doctors waste their time on me when they have so many more sick people.
To be honest, I was probably making it up, like Ryan said, I'm a compulsive liar, I don't know when I am telling the truth, maybe there was nothing wrong with me and I was just lying to myself.
YOU ARE READING
Knuckles // Tradley AU
Fanfic"I loved the boy that hated my guts" - The one where Tristan has no sense of purpose and no reason to leave his bedroom. Or The one where Brad feels worthless and can't bare to leave the man that's destroying him. (This is a re-write of a story I a...
