If you don't like cursing then you should probably back out now cause there's a lot of it.
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I can't honestly say I remember the last time I vented to someone. The last time I really told someone what I feel, what I think, what I do.
The last time I opened up, the last time I really truly talked, the last time I really was myself.
You see, I always feel like I have to be someone. Someone who's different, who's better, who's funnier. Someone, anyone, other than myself.
I'm about to break the facade.
I'm broken. I'm honest to god broken and I don't know if there's any fixing it.
I don't know what to do anymore. My parents fight, my sister cries, and I sit there and pretend not to hear it.
I try my hardest to block everything out. You ever hear the term ignorance is bliss? Yeah.
If I can pretend not to hear them fighting, pretend not to hear her crying, pretend my life is okay, maybe it will be, right?
No.
Things are bad. I don't see them getting better.
My mom for instance. An over controlling bitch who believes in an invisible man in the sky and doesn't have a single original thought. If she can't have complete control over something, or she doesn't like it, or she cant deal with it, it gets thrown out. Take our dog for example. Our three and a half year old pitbull and labrador cross. Everyone loves him. Sweetest dog to ever grace this earth. She hates him. He gets rowdy sometimes while playing. It happens right? But of course, that can't be tolerated or dealt with, no no no, the dog has to leave.
Maybe my Dad could even be a better example. You know, after the motorcycle crash we were in last year he's been prescribed medical marijuana to smoke. But wait, weed? In my mothers christian home? No that can't be tolerated. Time for her to give him one week to pack up his shit and move out. She didn't bother talking with him, working it out, or hell even telling the kids what was about to happen. We had to find out through Dad.
That's my mother for you.
But you know what? Speaking of my Dad let's move on to him. The constantly angry asshole who I think just really enjoys breaking things.
We got into an argument once and after only a few minutes it had escalated into him punching everything in sight and breaking his hand. He doesn't know how to resolve things with words. The only thing he knows in life is anger and violence. Sometimes he legitimately terrifies me when he flies into a rage, and makes me afraid to sleep in my own home.
Somehow I don't think that's something that you're supposed to deal with in your life.
And of course, last but not least, the main attraction, myself.
The bi, fat, single, lazy, faggot. Hi, nice to meet you.
I'm Cash and welcome to my life.
You're in for a wild ride folks.
