Imagine.
Just imagine being so attached to someone that you literally can't leave them.
You know they're bad for you, you know that you need to leave but you can't. You keep telling yourself they'll be better next time, they'll make up for their mistakes. They'll do better, you just need to get through this problem, or that this time is the last time, or that they're really trying to change.
You're willing to throw away friendships, you're willing to compromise morals, you're willing to do anything because you're being emotionally fucking abused and you can't get it into your fucking brain that this is a fucked up situation.
You don't love them. Not truly. You might think you do but you don't. It's fucking stockholm syndrome. You don't know anything else.
You've had a horrible life. Shits been fucked since day one. You've been homeless as a kid. You've been insanely poor for a lot of your life. Your mom was a homeless junkie, now shes an abusive alcoholic. Your dad died when you were young. You've had a horrible track record with boyfriends.
I guess this is just par for the course.
I just want to help, but you don't want to let me, and I don't want to cause my best friend pain and trouble. So I'm fucked. I'm backed into a corner.
I truly care for you, you're my best friend, as much as we make fun of each other, I know it comes from a place of friendship, and I know that I'd be lost without you. Hell I'd likely be dead if I'm being honest.
I just want to help, but you don't want it.
I'm worried. I don't know how far you're willing to go to keep this piece of shit in your life. You may think you love him, but I know he doesn't love you. He doesn't. He's an abusive, manipulative asshole.
He fits the definition of a psycho/sociopath. He's incredibly charming and charismatic, but he's manipulative, and abusive. He flips the fuck out when you do something HE doesn't like.
You didn't even know him when you had sex with Colton. You weren't even dating when you stayed the night at Stefans.
But you're willing to let him dictate how you hang out with YOUR friends? That's bullshit and you fucking know it. But you let him do it anyways. Because you think you love him.
I want to let you know how I feel, but you're in a bad place right now, I'm trying not to cause you anymore stress. You've been kicked out of your biological mothers house, your new mom is involved in your love life an unhealthy amount. Your boyfriend is a manipulative, emotionally abusive piece of shit.
I'm fucking trying here. I'm fucking trying to help you. I really am but i fucking cant and it pisses me the fuck off. All I want is just to help you reconcile this situation. I want things to go back to how they were in middle schoool.
I want to be able to laugh at dumb shit on a projector screen in the middle of class. I want to be able to have a good time with you and joden again. I want to make fun of you for misspelling handles on your high school art project, i want to be able to have fun with you, but its getting so hard. Its recently been one tragedy after another. First colton gets closed off because of HIS emotionally abusive significant other, then when I break them up, he becomes depressed, he turns to alcohol, he wants to kill himself, he completely changes his entire personality, then I become even more depressed than I was before, for no good fucking reason, then you get kicked out of your house, and now your boyfriend is a piece of shit.
Theres been no time to just be fucking stupid with eachother recenty;. Theres been no time to just chill.
I want all of that back.
But I guess all i can do is just imagine.
Fucking
Imagine.
