New Beginnings - A Nathan Riggs Story [Grey's Anatomy]

Easing off the pressure.

**so now it's in continuation from the chapter "Tension"**

MEREDITHS POV

I had stayed at the hospital for the whole night, it was pretty quiet to be honest with you. There were no surgeries scheduled, so I decided to go back to the attendings lounge for the 10th time tonight. No one was on call tonight, or atleast I just made myself think that. In my head, the whole day I just kept rethinking what Maggie had told me, or accidentally told me about Nathan. Does he really? Love me? I mean, that's probably a little too extreme we barely know eachother. I put my pressure onto the door handle and made my way into the attendings lounge, I went over to the couch and slowly sat down just getting lost in thought. I mean, do I really like him as much as I think I do? I never thought I could like another guy as much as I am at the moment. God but his eyes...Meredith, what are you saying! Turning around, I leaned my head back on the arm rest, covering my eyes with my arm and let out a huge sigh.

NATHANS POV

I wasn't paged into work, but it was around 6 and I was bored. I couldn't sleep at all, something was just on my mind the entire night and I couldn't stop thinking about it, Or her. I walked through the main entrance and let the scent sink in.
"Morning Gretchen"
"Nathan, how are you?
Gretchen was the front desk lady, I usually made it part of my day to say hello to her.
"I'm alright I guess, what about you?"
"I couldn't say i'm any better"
She looked up from her desk top, smiled and tapped the bench.
"I can't keep you away from work this long, go enjoy the day"
I gave her a smile and waved to her.
"Have a nice day!"
I kept smiling until it started to fade. I got out my phone and checked through my social media and emails, I didn't bring my eyes off the phone so I opened the door into the attendings lounge and placed my bags on the table in the centre - now looking up. She didn't realise I was there, yet. Her hair fell over the arm rest and she looked so peaceful yet tired, so I tried my best to not wake her up as I put my belongings away. Although I didn't do a good job, she let out a groan.
"Oh jeez, sorry I tried my best to keep quiet"
I said in a whispered tone, she bought herself up and sat up straight on the couch.
"No it's alright, i've got to get going anyway"
"Long night?"
"I guess you could say that"
She picked her phone up from the corner table and checked if she had any notifications, but from the corner of my eye it looked like she hadn't. She cleared her throat and I turned around to face her, not saying anything well not yet anyway.
"I'm uh, **she pointed towards the door** i'm going to go, i'll see you later"
"Hey, hey wait!"
She spun around on her ankles, still tired and out of it.
"Mhm?"
"You've been avoiding me, please i'm sorry..."
"Sorry for what? You haven't done anything"
"So what happened at Amelia's that, that didn't mean anything to you?"
She shook her head and rubbed her eyes.
"Nope"
She kind of left me speechless because I can remember that night, not clearly but I know that I could see she was hurt.
"Your lying, I know it"
Her icy blue eyes looked straight up at me, she didn't break the contact.
"Your right, I am"
Okay, now that caught me off guard.
"What - really?"
"Yes, really.
- I may have been drunk but I also wasn't completely out of it. I had seen every little stares or whatever you were giving to me. I felt it, and when that bottle spun and spun. I may have been wanting the same thing you were probably wanting"
She let out a huge breath.
"But when it did, I had no idea what I wanted to do. It would have been the first time i've ever kissed another man since Derek"
"Derek?"
She gave a quick smile but it quickly faded.
"He was my husband, he passed away not too long ago"
This was my first time hearing this and to be quite honest with you, I could understand what she must've been thinking.
"My god, I'm, Im so sorry"
"Don't be, you had no idea"
I found myself a chair and pulled it up for her and she took the offer and sat. I quickly pulled up another and sat directly in front of her.
"I had no idea Grey, I really didn't if I had known..."
"Stop apologising you had nothing to do with it really"
She looked down at her hands and fiddled with her jewellery.
"I'm sorry"
She finally looked up again, eyes red but not teary.
"Hey, no there's no need to be really"
She smiled and looked at me for a little while but the PA system went off, asking for her. She lifted her head then bought it back down to face me again.
"I, I gotta go"
She got up from her seat and walked off, I gotta say I felt like pure shit.

MEREDITHS POV

The entire time I spent left at the hospital that day, I felt like I had just lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. Telling Nathan what I had released soo much pressure from me, it felt good that he knew and understood. But that feeling, I still had that feeling deep down and I just couldn't prove to myself that what I was feeling was wrong. But also, deep down it felt so right, I was allowed to feel that way...right?

So, there I was sitting on the outdoor chair just waiting and waiting for him to leave. I probably looked like a complete idiot but I had to, I was doing the right thing.

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