Building A Bridge

Why me?

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, or forsake thee.                                                                                                                                    Hebrews 13:5

            Just before dawn the next morning I awoke and crept slowly and quietly out of bed and to my window. I noiselessly opened the window and stealthily, like a cat climbed onto the roof that looked out over the whole neighborhood. The sun was rising in the sky and as I looked out I felt as though I could almost see God painting the morning sky. Big paint brush in hand making swift movements as a painter would, the world his canvas. I sat there my back against the side of the house and watched the world come to life. Starting with the birds, then the people began to leave their homes going off to do what they do, be it work or play. I smiled and thought about life, then realization came crashing  into me as if I had been struck by lightning, I remembered the events of last night. How could God do this? If he really loved me would he have let this happen to me? I know he loves me he has to. We are taught in church God loves you no matter what. Right?  Question after question and doubt after doubt was all I could think. I was so absorbed in my own thoughts I hadn’t realized Mia my best friend was standing in my bedroom trying to get my attention.

            “Janie?” I heard her soft outspoken voice call. I looked up and saw my exquisitely stunning best friend Mia, looking at me, her face full of worry. I smiled at her and beckoned her to come out onto the roof with me she complied without even a thought and sat down beside me. Then it came to me, why on earth is she up so early? She hardly ever wakes up before noon.  

            “It’s not even six AM, what are you doing up? I’m astounded.” I said looking at her flabbergasted.

            “I woke up extra early this morning and felt convicted to come over. I felt as though you needed me so I hopped in my car and came straight over.” She smiled, and at that moment I realized she was still in Pajamas, I quirked an eyebrow at her and she just laughed.

            “Well since you’re here I do have something I need to tell you.” I said suddenly getting serious.  She looked confused but said nothing. I looked out over the city and continued, “I’m pregnant, and no it is not Jasper’s, last night I took a pregnancy test because I had missed a period and had been sick in the morning so I thought why not. The pregnancy text came out positive...” I said looking over at her once again.

            “Whose is it then?” She asked quietly looking up at me sadly all I could see was pity and for some reason it angered me.

            “Seth’s,” I said, and continued louder, “he raped me.” I decided that even though I had this happen to me I am not going to let it weaken me it will strengthen me. Make me a stronger person a better version of me, I may have a lot of growing up to do in nine months but by the end of the next year my life will be different but God can make a good thing out of a bad situation right? Next thing I knew Mia’s arms were wrapped tightly around me and she was crying I’m not sure why but I guess I’ll have to deal with it.

            “You don’t deserve this!” She sobbed loudly. I awkwardly patted her back. Shouldn’t I be the one crying? I thought.

            “Why are you crying?” I asked

            “Well you don’t deserve this you’ve always been good.” She replied sniffling. I love my friends to pieces. I thought.