Building A Bridge

Jesus Love Me?

“God makes a good thing out of a bad situation.”

                                                                                                            -Anonymous

            I sat in a tree that I found one day when I was walking around.  It was around six o’clock in the morning and I was watching the sun come up.  I love the early morning hours when the world is just starting to wake up.  I am eight months along and I am getting pretty fat, but in a good way.  My tummy is a like a round basket ball and the baby is sitting on my bladder, I have to pee all the time! I press my hand against my tummy and feel a strong kick.  I smile imagining my son grows up to be a soccer player. Eli and I have been going out for almost a month now and he has been a source of amazing support to me.  Eli and Rose have been trying to get me to come to church with them.  I have been slightly apprehensive about church, will they accept me?  Will they judge me, an unwed mother?  I am considering going with them today.  It’s hard to stay mad at God when you are surrounded by people who love and believe in him.   I looked down the road and saw a motorcycle zoom by with the leaves flying up from the spinning wheels.  The sun was fully up in the sky now and it was time to get back inside, as I was walking back to the house I decided I should give God another chance.  I buzzed around my room getting ready for church.  I grabbed a floral print skirt and purple v-neck shirt and headed to the shower.  As I was getting ready thoughts about the day ahead were swirling through my mind.  I left my hair to dry naturally as I put on some light makeup.  Gathering up a turquoise scarf, my brown leather jacket and brown flats I headed out into the hall.  The hall clock said 10:15 AM; I smiled slightly and walked down the hall to the kitchen.  I saw Rose sitting at the table reading her bible and eating breakfast.

 “Good morning,” I chirped as I sat down at the table, “I’ve decided to take you up on your offer and join at church today.” 

Rose smiled and said, “Good, I was hoping you would, I have someone I want you to meet.”

“Okay” I said grabbing a plate and dishing up a pancake.  I covered my pancake in butter and drizzled syrup over it.  I took the spoon and scooped up a helping of eggs onto my plate.  I instantly smiled when I took the first bite of the delicious food.  I quickly finished my breakfast and put my dishes in the sink, thanking Mrs. Clarke on the way. 

“You’re welcome Hon.” she said with a smile. 

            I headed back to my room to finish getting ready, I text Eli and asked him if he wanted to pick me up and take me to church.  When the door bell rang I grabbed my stuff and headed out.  Eli was standing in the living room looking like a Hollister model.  He saw me and a smile lit up his face, “You look beautiful” he mouthed.  I walked over to him biting my lip and looked up at him; he pulled me into a hug and nuzzled my hair.  I smiled against his chest and breathed in the scent of his cologne.  Eli kissed the side of my head and then we headed out the door to church. 

~*~

            As we walked into the church people were looking at us curiously.  I was getting weird looks from people we passed.  I began to feel uncomfortable and realized that people were judging me because I was so young and obviously pregnant.  I began to regret my decision to come to church. 

“Eli, I think this was a bad idea.” I said looking up at him. 

“Don’t pay attention to them, if they were real Christians they wouldn’t be judging you,” he replied easily, “and I will be with you the whole time.”  He took my small hand in his and squeezed it gently.  I smiled held my head high and kept walking.  I would not let them bother me.  I had nothing to be ashamed of and I knew that God accepted and loved me.  Eli and I walked confidently into the church ignoring the stares and whispered comments as we passed.  We made our way into the sanctuary and found a place to sit.  The praise team started the worship service just shortly after we found our seats.  When the pastor came onto the platform I was surprised to see it was a woman.  That’s not something you see every day, I thought to myself.  The pastor was a pretty blond with curly hair.  The message that day was about judging and how we should leave it up to God.  We are only meant to love and help his children.  I really enjoyed the sermon and I like the pastor.  The sermon was very clear and easy to understand, it was short, sweet and to the point.  When the pastor was finished the praise team came back up and sang two more songs.  When the service was over I just sat thinking about my first church service since I became pregnant.  I was lost in my thoughts about the music and message when a voice pulled me back to reality. 

“Hello,” I looked up to see the pastor standing there smiling at me.

 “Hi, I’m Janie,” I said smiling back at her.

 “My name is Kris and I don’t believe I have seen you here before,” she replied sitting down beside me.

 “Well, this is actually my first time back to any church in about seven months,” I said. 

“Really, I’m so glad you came back.” the kind pastor said.

 “I kind of gave up on God when everything kept going wrong in my life and I blamed it on God,” I whispered with tears in my eyes.

 “Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked, giving me an encouraging smile.  Soon I was telling her my whole story.  I swear when I told her I had been raped I saw her flinch.  When I was done I was in tears and Eli was holding my hand and rubbing small circles on my back.  

“I was raped when I was your age, so I know how you feel…if you ever need to talk, I am here.”  I smiled and before I realized what I was doing I let go of Eli’s hand and wrapped Kris in a hug.  If I didn’t get anything else out of the service today at least I know I am not alone.