Rogue Wolf

Ch 35 why?

I rolled over, grabbing the covers, only to find the covers didn't move and someone was in the empty space on my other side. I recognized the bulk next to me and had to smile a little. I must have been really tired not to wake when he came in.

I looked over at Michael, who had the blanket rolled around him like a cocoon. Apparently at some point he had decided to ensure I wasn't going to try anything with him, despite my assurances to finally get him off the floor and into the bed for a good night sleep. I couldn't help scoffing slightly even if I understood.

It was probably the first good sleep he had since he got here. He had assured me no one had raped him, but I had a feeling Alpha's guard's still harassed him. I could almost lay money on the creep that had stood so close in front of me when I was chained. That was one dude I was glad was still with Alpha.

Sighing I turned toward the warm bulk and cuddled into him. Lone Wolf was the first adult man I felt I could really trust to be near me and not want to do a thing. His arm went around me, giving added warmth to my backside.

"Want me to grab another blanket?" he asked softly, so he wouldn't wake up Michael.

"Nah, unless you want one too. We ain't getting any of that one!"

Lone Wolf chuckled, and I splayed my hand on his broad chest to feel the rumble of it.

"Kid," he said, sounding serious.

I raised my head to look at him. He just sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"I don't want anything," I said softly, "except to be held."

He gave this little grunt, holding me tighter.

I had an internal debate with myself then, finally deciding I couldn't afford to blow another chance to talk to him more or less alone. I listened to Michael's steady breathing for a moment more before I raised myself back up to look at his face.

"Lone Wolf?"

His eyes held a bit of humor now. "What?" he encouraged.

"Why?"

At his raised eyebrow I continued.

"Why do I need to be held? I never was, never wanted any of my mom's guys to touch me, even when they did. Why do I crave it so bad now? Why can't I stop crying all the time? Why..."

"Shhh," he said with a nod toward Michael. His arms pulled me tighter and I laid my head back down on his chest.

"I ain't no psychiatrist," he finally said, "but I can take a guess. You been through shit, little brother, real live shit these guys in here don't even know exists, or didn't until they met Alpha. Even then, they think of it as a werewolf thing, and it ain't, but they don't know that."

He sighed again, his hand rubbing my back a bit. It was really odd to be touched in a way that obviously wasn't sexual at all.

"Alpha's drugs had you wired," he continued. "He has that older omega put them in those stupid dog biscuits. Every time someone did good and got a treat, it was almost a guarantee they would do something to screw up. That way Alpha would have a reason to terrorize them, keep them in their place, demonstrate his control of his pack."

His hand stopped its circular rubbing, which had been nice, and he squeezed me a bit instead. It wasn't painful or anything, and I didn't understand why it would set off my tears, again.

"See?" I whispered, moving to wipe the tears away.

"Kid, you've been through so much in your short life. I think those drugs didn't do anything more to you than take down the walls you've put up over the years. Made you hyper a bit, but you seem to handle that part without getting into too much trouble."

"Other than my mouth," I snorted humorously.

"Yeah, definitely that," he said, chuckling as well. "You're just finally dealing with all that other junk inside you. Give it a few months for the drugs to finish working their way out of your system. You'll feel like a new man. You gotta come to terms with what you're going through here too though. You aren't looking at it all straight."

"What do you mean?"

He wouldn't answer me, trying to urge me to go back to sleep instead.

"Hey, while I have you mostly alone, I wanna apologize for that time on the roof. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"You already apologized for that. It's all good."

"I wanna go out more. Tell me the code to the other door. I don't wanna have to keep going past Alpha." I tried to keep my request from sounding like a demand, but I wasn't sure I was successful.

"Well you're going to have to. Look kid, you've been given authority, and that means you have to own it. Backing down from Alpha is like opening the door to the guards to come after you. Alpha taught them to think like wolves. They will exploit any weakness they see in you, so be on your toes, ok?"

"Yeah. And stop calling me kid."

"Give me a name to call you then, like Maximus did."

I shook my head slightly against his chest. "No," I whispered, unable to explain why it felt like I didn't dare reveal my name, even though I'm pretty sure Alpha heard it when he took me to the park, and Michael knew.

"Like I said, you still got shit to work through, and I don't know how to help you do that. I'm here for you though, ok? I ain't going nowhere."

I relaxed against him, feeling an unusual sense of peace, my one arm dangling over his wide girth. Then it was like my brain started connecting dots I didn't even know were there. My hands suddenly clenched into Lone Wolf's flesh, grabbing him almost desperately.

"Don't let them celebrate Michael being part of the pack!"

I was almost in a panic as it hit me that if Alpha agreed to giving Michael status and say he was part of the pack, Alpha would want a frigging celebration.

"I can't let that happen to him, I can't..." sobs choked me as I let my panic blow full. I wanted my Max here to reassure me, but on this point I wasn't sure he would.