Rogue Wolf

Ch 48 the past

I had no intention of sharing most of those old memories, yet my Max was looking at me, as was everyone else. I think maybe only Lone Wolf might understand what had just happened to me, if I cared to explain.

"Been a long time," I said finally. "The owner had me wait out back. When he saw me on the fire escape, it gave him the idea of me checking on his mom. She had that thing, where you can't come out of your home?"

"Agoraphobia," supplied Lone Wolf.

"Yeah, so I would take her stuff from her sons, mostly food stuff, every Friday night, going up the fire escape to her apartment window. I got a huge take-out box as payment. Did it for over a year, until I found her dead one night. She taught me a lot about cooking and baking."

I concentrated on my dinner for a moment. Of course I'd made Italian food to celebrate; I associated it with happy times. But there was more to those memories. I could hear Missus G telling me about her father, then her husband, and the price they'd paid so that her apartment was theirs for life, to be bequeathed to whom she wished. I remembered asking her what bequeathed meant. Worse, I remembered going in when she didn't come to the window, knowing something was wrong. These were memories I had buried, and I didn't have time for them right now.

"So, maybe after dinner we can do karaoke, see if I can still croon," I suggested, desperate to take the attention off me. "Who else has some hidden skills. Who else wants to tell something about their past?"

My suggestion was met with uncomfortable silence broken only by Michael's scraping fork. He spoke up without even noticing the reaction from the others.

"I skate, obviously", he said, reaching for a roll. "I had done an audition for Disney on Ice just the week before... anyway, I can do anything on any kind of skates, even a skateboard."

"I'll put skateboards on the shopping list," said Lone Wolf, as if nothing unusual was happening.

"It's all right," said Maximus quietly into the continuing silence.

Michael looked up then, at Maximus, then me. I gave a little shrug with a sigh. As the silence drew out, Michael stage whispered, "awkward," in a little sing-song voice.

One of the guards finally spoke up. "I was learning to play guitar. I had a friend..." He paused, glancing at our lord before dipping his head down respectfully.

"Go on," Maximus said, as if he was expecting the worse.

"I was on my way over to his house to play video games that night. He had asked his parents for an electric guitar and was going to give me his acoustical if he got it." The guard looked straight at me then, neither deferential or apologetic. "Alpha forbids music or singing. He has also forbidden us to speak of our past."

"Not like we have to," I said, brushing it off. I wasn't going to push them if they weren't ready to break themselves totally away from alpha's rule.

"No, we will," Maximus said to the discomfort of the guards. "Everyone will say something about their human past."

His command was met with more silence. I thought it was sad that only one guard had the courage to speak up.

"Well," Lone Wolf finally drawled, stretching out some. "I was seventeen when my parents both died in a car wreck. That left me to take care of my younger sister. I got emancipated, managed the finances enough to keep the house for awhile, long enough for my sister to graduate high school. She moved in with her boyfriend after that so I could finally sell the house. I joined the military as an easy out. Learned lots of skills there."

The big man fell silent, an odd little smile playing on his lips. "Anyway, life was pretty good, overall. A few hiccups here and there, but yeah, overall, not a bad life so far."

Michael snorted derisively. "Hope you aren't calling getting turned into a werewolf a little hiccup," he muttered.

"Actually," Lone Wolf said, giving Michael a hard look, "I did kinda volunteer for it. I offered to help, just didn't know what all that entailed at the time. I'd do it again if I had to."

Michael looked embarrassed and muttered an apology, slinking down in his seat, keeping his head down. Max on the other hand seemed to find some solace in Lone Wolf's affirmation, sitting up straighter in his seat.

"I liked riding my bike," the crude one blurted out suddenly, then lowered his head as much as Michael's was.

"I never had a bike," I said thoughtfully, trying to keep the conversation low key. I regretted now asking if anyone else wanted to talk about their past. I had no idea how to relieve the tension around the table.

"I had a dog," another said, not looking up.

I was both surprised and confused when my Max stood up and went over to stand behind that guard, wrapping his arms around him.

"I should not have listened to Alpha that day," Max said softly in the guard's ear. The guard only nodded, tears spilling from him. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I felt relieved that I wasn't the only one who could leak like a sieve around here.

After that all the guards made some quick comment.
"I played guitar too."
"Drums."
"Eating," one said, then shrugged and added "What? I used to be overweight."
"Drawing."

"Art supplies," said Lone Wolf. "I'll add it to my shopping list, along with musical instruments, and maybe earplugs," he grinned.

Michael chuckled. "Pick me up a pair," he said with a tilt of his head toward me. "He snores."

"I do not," I said crossly.

There were snickers around the table.

"Perhaps just a little," my Max said with a tender smile as he came back to sit next to me. "Only on occasion though."

I don't know why I was irritated, but I was, until I caught the amused look on Lone Wolf's face as he winked at me. It hit me suddenly that I was being teased. I'd never been teased like that before. Sitting around the table, looking around at my pack members, I realized we really were beginning to become a family.

I grinned back with a slight scoff and dug into the pan of lasagna. Maybe tonight was going to work out after all.