They all seemed so worried...I all up and went out for a while and Kanaya came and
found me. I was shocked when she all up and started fucking crying...it scared me more
when she told me that they knew...what happened...and Tav...I broke his heart. I
couldn't stand seeing him cry. The only mother fucking tears I want to see from his
beautiful eyes are tears of mother fucking joy. I can't stand when he's upset. It makes
me feel powerless. I always hate myself a little more than usual. It piles on...the pain's
easier to handle now but I can't help but think that this is all an act. I don't know why
they would go through the trouble when they could just tell me to die. I wouldn't
hesitate. I'd kill myself right on the fucking spot. If it means making them happy and
taking the pain away. There are only a few trolls that I can actually trust. I know I'm a
clown and I'm always happy and shit, but it's hard to find the people that you actually
trust. I trust Tav, Kan, Kar, and Nep...well...I have to go and plot my suicide now...
-GaMzEe
