My Boyfriend (나의 남자 친구) | ✓

o6. when i get jealous

in the mood of blackpink's stay

(i was editing this chap when stay played. and rose killed me with her melancholic first verse. it's prophecy again y'all)

-🌸-

Jang Hanna. A girl I'd like to describe as someone sweet, beautiful, smart and... my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.

I accepted the fact that Junhoe had past relationships before me. What I don't get is why Junhoe still keeps in touch with her. I was fine with it first, but then Chanwoo slipped up about something from my boyfriend's past, something that pushed me to be envious of Hanna's existence in his life.

"Hanna noona was Junhoe's first serious relationship. When they broke up, he always asked the other hyungs to go drinking with him, even if he couldn't stomach the taste of alcohol, just to forget about her." Startled, he sent me a nervous glance. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. Don't tell Junhoe, okay?"

I waved my hands in rejection to that idea and smiled reassuringly. But a bigger force grips my heart, caused by his words.

I'm envious of Jang Hanna, a little more than I'd like to admit. What to do then? Her beauty captures everyone's attention, even mine. She has the natural ability to make people feel comfortable around her and when she smiles, she makes sure it's always sincere. I could see why Junhoe fell in love with her hard, because she's beautiful inside and out.

This is why it's harder to accept, that someone beautiful like her was once a part of Junhoe's world, maybe even his whole world at some point. No matter how I tell myself to get over it, Hanna was once me in Junhoe's life. And I hate how that thought degrades me to someone who compares herself to her boyfriend's ex.

One sunny morning, Junhoe and I were walking together to our common class. Junhoe was narrating about Hanbin's flirting attempt with his Calculus classmate, Lee Hayi, that ended with a bruise on his cheek. Along the way, we met Jang Hanna. The laughter bubbling from my lips stopped when Junhoe dropped my hold on his arm to greet her with an one-armed hug. Then they got lost in a conversation of their own, as if I wasn't there in the first place.

"How's Soljin holding up these days?"
"She's doing better. Oh! She wants to say thanks for the medicines. It helped a lot."
"Don't mention it. I hope Hyemi doesn't make it happen for the second time 'cause those medicines are expensive as hell."
"Mom's already in it, don't worry. You know how she is."

The both of them shared a look, chuckling about an inside joke I wouldn't get. After the laughter subsided, Hanna lightly nudged Junhoe's arm. "Gotta run. I have Entrep in 5 mins. See you around!"

"Yeah." Junhoe nodded once. "See you around."

My sight followed Hanna disappearing further in the hallway's shadows with every step. If I didn't feel his hand intertwining with mine, I would've watched her disappear in my sight forever. Maybe it's because of the warmth spreading through his fingertips, passing as if it were electric fizzles touching mine, that I got distracted almost immediately.

"Let's go?"

I absentmindedly followed his lead. As I hold his hand, a disturbing thought couldn't help but cross my mind.

Did Hanna feel the same effect he has on me?

🌺🌸🌺