My Boyfriend (나의 남자 친구) | ✓

[sp] prequel: pt. 3

"Hey."

My steps stop in front of her. "Hey."

"I thought you'd never come," Hanna says. She pats the space beside her on the bench, inviting me to sit, so I do.

"Why call me out here?"

She looks down and fiddles with her thumbs. It's a nervous habit of hers. Some things don't change, huh?

"I want to clear the air between us." Hanna lifts her head to look at me. "You've been avoiding me since the break-up. Junhoe..." She sighs. "I don't want it to be that way, okay? I feel like it's my fault."

It's not her fault. She's always like that, blaming herself for everything that happens wrong around her. Everything that she can't control, it's never her fault. I want to tell her that.

"Sorry for being a prick. I was just mad because you broke it off when I thought we had something special."

"And we did, that can't change. But you knew it before, right?" Her eyes lower again. "I'm not meant for... something serious yet."

I nod. "You want to focus on yourself first." She grows silent. "Don't worry. I already accepted that. If I didn't, I wouldn't meet you."

"Right, you'd do that," she says with a little laugh in her tone. I miss hearing her laugh. It sounds like bells you'd hear to someplace that feels like home.

Hanna's still playing with her hand even when I think she's getting comfortable. I always held her hand when she did this so maybe it's second nature when I reach out. Hanna looks at me, quite surprised. I don't say anything because I feel like I'll ruin it with pointless words.

I miss the warmth of her hand, the warmth in her voice, the warmth in her eyes. I miss everything about her. Of course, I miss her. I'll always do. But a period can never be a comma if two hearts don't want to be together anymore. The ending page is already stamped in our story. There's nothing else to do but accept our fate.

"Be happy and stop worrying about me."

"Junhoe..."

"This is me telling you I'm letting go. Hanna, thanks for the wonderful memories."

Her surprise changes into a smile. It's a sight that's beautiful and painful at the same time, because I know it's the last I'll see it. "I love you and I will always do."

I return her smile despite me struggling not to show how much it hurts. "It's the same for me."

If Hanna reached out months ago, I would've said, 'go to hell.' The old Junhoe thought it was too unfair for her to look okay when all it did was break me in pieces. After the heartache stopped, I realized a lot of things.

No matter how much I try to forget about her, it will never happen. How can you forget someone who was once important? She's the reason why I was happy. Why would I erase her from my memory?

It still hurts, to be honest. What we had was something great. It's right, what they say. There will always be someone who will change you. I played around in high school, thought it was the best thing to do in life, but she came and it hasn't been the same ever since.