Chapter Twenty-Seven

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Document 5: Personal Letters and Diary Excerpts
Letter 1
Dear Sivagami,
I know it isn't proper for a Prince to address a lady like that. But you have always been very dear to my heart. If I may say so, you are the very epitome of perfection in a woman. Every time I see you, I feel that you are everything I want in my life partner.

I still cannot forget how you came with nothing in your hands and worked your way up to the upper echelons of power purely by your merit. How you exonerated your dead father from the guilt of being branded a traitor! How you can either kill or sacrifice your own life for the sake of the kingdom of Mahishmati. What more could a Prince want from his Rani?

I know you too feel the same for me as I do. Then what prevents you from accepting it? I know my mother, Queen Hemavati wants me to marry a Princess from an influential and powerful kingdom. But I am confident, my father, Maharaj Somadeva will see this decision of mine with my eyes.

No Princess is fit enough to be the wife of Prince Mahadeva as Sivagami, daughter of Bhoomipathi Devaraya.  If ever I marry anyone, it will be only you. Even one approving glance from you is enough. Show me that you too care.
Ever languishing in your thoughts,
Mahadeva.

Excerpts from Rajmata Sivagami's Personal Diary
Every time I see you my heartbeats quicken. I am not worthy of you or the attention you pay me. The society around us will never accept our union. This chasm between us is so big. I am a Bhoomipathi in Mahishmati. It is my duty to serve the royal family of Mahishmati. It is not mine to dream of marrying the Prince. Oh....Mahadeva, why do you make things difficult for both of us. Do you even realize how much it pains me to ignore your advances? Mahadeva, I worship you in the inner sanctum of my heart. You are my God. Can a devotee aspire for her idol?
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Letter 2
Dear Sivagami,
Congratulations on becoming the Upapradhana of Mahishmati. Now the difference in status between us is not so great. My mother would not be so averse to this relationship now. If you are willing, I will talk to my mother and father.
Yours,
Mahadeva.

Excerpts from Rajmata Sivagami's Personal Diary (contd.)
Mahadeva, I really do not know how to respond to your importunate demands. God alone knows how I prevent myself from giving in to your demands. What makes you think that Queen Mother Hemavati might be willing to consider me as her daughter-in-law just because I am the Upapradhana. She might still wish you to make an advantageous political marriage with a Princess from a powerful kingdom. I too wish the best for you. I see no wrong in what the Queen Mother is planning for you.
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Letter 3
Sivagami,
I have patiently waited for you for five long years ever since I set eyes on you for the first time when you were seventeen. Now at twenty-two, you have become the youngest and first woman Mahapradhana of Mahishmati. Difference of class will no longer be an issue towards our union. I have never seen another woman except you. Don't you think so much devotion at least deserves a response? And remember one thing Sivagami...... I will never marry another woman just because you say 'No'! Except you and Mahishmati, there is no body else who is more important to me. Both of us have been deputed by the King for the diplomatic mission to the Vaithalikkas tomorrow morning. I expect an answer when we return back to Mahishmati.
Impatiently yours,
Mahadeva.

Excerpts from Rajmata Sivagami's Personal Diary (contd.)
Mahadeva, this Sivagami is yours. I will no longer make you wait. I will express my feelings for you as soon as we return from the diplomatic mission to the Vaithalikkas. Together we will face whatever opposition there is to our union......When I anticipate my glorious future with you, my whole heart is brimming with happiness.....Oh God!.....Am I so happy?.....Is Sivagami so happy?.....I pinch myself....All this is true....But there are times when I feel scared of my happiness....and my hopes.....What if my happiness is snatched from me!......What if hope comes like a blissful dream and ends like a distant mirage!......No...No.......I am thinking too much!.....May be I am working too hard......I must be tiring myself with my official duties.....That's why......
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Note by Kattappa: I was asked to destroy all this communication by Rajmata Sivagami on the eve of her marriage to Prince Bijjaladeva, Mahadeva's elder brother. But I couldn't. I didn't have the heart to destroy something so pure and beautiful. I secretly preserved them so that the future would know what all their ancestors sacrificed for the sake of the land that gave birth to them. I know many of you will judge both of them for whatever they did. But I will not. Choices are never easy or straightforward. My respect for both these beautiful people only goes up one notch higher for all those beautiful dreams they gave up, that blissful life of love that they sacrificed for the sake of keeping the kingdom of Mahishmati as one sovereign whole. Respect and esteem are not earned by power, authority or fear. They come out of respect, love and esteem. I could kill or be killed for the sake of both Mahadeva and Sivagami. And this voice comes from within. I can vouch for the fact that even the people of Mahishmati could do the same for either of them.
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