Chapter Ninety-Six

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In Vijayapuri,
Shodasi Devi was conducting the court. The ministers and other nobles placed the issues that fell under their jurisdiction before her. The chieftains of the four major clans in Vijayapuri had been inducted into her cabinet of ministers. The prominent noble families in Ashwakootam had also been duly represented within the current administration.

Shodasi had consolidated her position militarily and administratively. There were a few upheavals on the financial front. But the revenue from Malava would resolve the situation.

Bhagiradhi sat in her seat. A big bound book lay in her lap. She jotted down the proceedings, her views and opinions, her suggestions, or just about anything random that stuck her fancy.

Bhagiradhi had been maintaining this journal since a while. If she wanted to bring something to Shodasi Devi's notice, Bhagiradhi showed her what she had written. Shodasi would glance at what Bhagiradhi had written, mull over her words and then take her decision on the matter.

When Bhagiradhi intially took the vow of silence, she had been confident about their victory in the war. She had been so sure about Mrithyunjay's abilities and his bravery. She saw her vow of silence as a very temporary thing at that point of time. However, the war ended in a very different manner than anybody had foreseen.

Her vow and silence extended for an indefinite period of time. Not being able to speak made her feel isolated. She chaffed under the impotence. It infuriated her and left her frustrated. She had so much to say and she couldn't say anything. 

That is when her mother-in-law, Katyayani suggested this idea to her, "Maintain a journal. Write about your day. Scribble about what you think. Draw about what you feel. Show it to us. We will all understand what to do. You shouldn't feel alone at not being able to do something the way you knew. It only means you have to unlearn what you know and figure out a new way of doing the same thing."

The court proceedings had become boring and monotonous. Bhagiradhi tapped her foot and held her palm in front of her stifling a yawn. The minister droned on in a monotonous voice.

Her attention wavered and soared elsewhere. She wondered where Mrithyunjay was and what he must be doing now. She calculated when approximately the ships from Malava would return.

Bhagiradhi was stuck by a very different kind of idea. She dipped her quill in the ink and mused. Her fingers traced lines on the open page. She filled the blank page with bold and vibrant strokes and shaded them in brilliant and colorful hues.

Her fingers were stained in blotches of ink and paint. Her eyes were drawn in a straight line. She gently touched her stomach after completing the artistic endeavor to her satisfaction. She felt a slight thickening of her pelvic muscles. She smiled to herself.

"What do think about this, Bhagiradhi?" Shodasi Devi asked rousing her from her reverie.

The minister had finished reading the document in his hand. Everyone's eyes were fixed on Bhagiradhi. Shodasi extended her hand gesturing the page boy to bring Bhagiradhi's journal to her. Bhagiradhi passed her journal to him and shifted in her seat, looking the other way. 

The page boy held the open page of the journal for Shodasi Devi to peruse. She glanced and then coughed. Bhagiradhi had drawn a white pigeon soaring towards the sun. The doors of its cage were thrown open. Its wings were flapping and gliding in the soft and gentle breeze amidst the fluffy white clouds.

"Ahem! Ahem! Very good suggestions these. I will consider them and inform my decision to the court tomorrow", Shodasi Devi said. "You may go and rest if you are tired. Our work for the morning is almost over. I will take care of the rest."

As Bhagiradhi was leaving, Shodasi Devi cautioned her,"And do wash your hands throughly before eating anything. Ink and paints are not good to injest."

Bhagiradhi's lips curved into a crescent half-moon in a soft and gentle smile that reached her eyes.

As Bhagiradhi was leaving a messenger entered the court almost brushing past her in his hurry. The skin beneath his eyes sagged. It had turned sallow and his voice was shrill and jerky as he conveyed, "Our ships from Malava have returned."

Bhagiradhi stopped where she was on listening this news. Shodasi Devi said, "Yes."

She waved her palm asking him to proceed. The messenger wiped his forehead. He looked at Bhagiradhi anxiously, "They drifted into the harbor. Nobody seemed to be manning or steering it. We boarded the ships to ascertain what was wrong with them."

The messenger stopped not knowing how to proceed. He was overcome by his emotions. He spluttered and swallowed before he gathered courage to continue, "Everyone in those ships were dead. We are still identifying the bodies."

"Oh my God!" Shodasi Devi hid her face in her palms. Bhagiradhi caught hold of a nearby pillar to support herself from falling.

The messenger stepped towards Shodasi Devi and handed over a sealed letter, "We found this letter on one of those ships."

Shodasi broke the seal and opened the letter. She exclaimed aloud, "Subahu!"

The letter read,
"My greetings to my dearest aunt and niece. Hope this letter finds you both in good health and happiness.  I assume my gifts must have reached you by this time. Please do let me know what you thought about them. I must say that if both of you insist on being so kind and considerate towards me, these gifts will not be the last.
- Yours lovingly Subahu."

Shodasi Devi dropped the letter in her hand and ran towards Bhagiradhi. A sense of doom had descended upon the entire court. The court was dismissed. General Rudra and the soldiers escorted Bhagiradhi and Shodasi Devi to the naval harbor. Both of them sat in the palanquin. The curtains were closed. Not a word passed between both of them throughout the whole journey.

The ill-fated ships had been cleared by the time Shodasi Devi and Bhagiradhi arrived. The dead had been handed over to their living relatives. Where none of them had survived, the soldiers had given them a decent funeral. Shodasi Devi spoke to the soldiers. They said, "We did not find Mrithyunjay among the rest."

A sense of tremendous relief washed over both of them on listening to this. Shodasi whispered, "He is still alive then."

She inquired next, "And General Samarth?"

The heads of the soldiers fell. They shook their heads and pointed towards one of the many burning pyres. While Shodasi was still giving parting instructions to the soldiers, Bhagiradhi could not stop herself from alighting the ships one by one. She walked across their decks slowly. She bent down and touched the stained decks with her fingers.

It was late by the time Shodasi and Bhagiradhi had returned to the palace. Bhagiradhi ran to her chamber and locked herself within. She wiped her eyes and sniffled her nose. Her whole frame shook convulsively. She wrote in her journal, "So many hopes, so many aspirations. So many faces, so many smiles. All dead. This darkness is real. I am living it. Every time I dream, that dream turns into a nightmare. Is the fault in my dreams or in me?"

Her quill broke smudging the entire page.

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