Redemption || MorMor

Patches

 Jim sat alone in a hotel room, staring at a cold cup of tea. The high-pitched hum was in his head again but it didn't bother him. It was freezing cold but that didn't bother him. He hadn't gotten changed but that didn't bother him. Only one thing mattered to him anymore: making it up to Sebastian. He needed to get him back. He knew for sure that he couldn't function without him, and vice versa. They needed each other. 

At the same time, Sebastian was sat in the kitchen, with Severin patching up his hand from where he'd cut it from punching the wall in anger at Jim's return. He focused on trying to contain his emotions, but he was struggling. Severin didn't know what to say or what to do, so he stayed quiet. Then he heard his brother sobbing and he had to bring him into a hug. He held him close and rubbed his back like their mother always used to do. It calmed him but it didn't stop the hurt inside. 

"I-I don't know what to do, Sevvy..." his cry was like a howl of a dying animal and all Severin wanted to do was make it better. So he took him up to bed and made him some tea. He tucked him in and stroked his head as he cried. He wiped away his tears and hugged him when he needed it. He stayed with him until he fell asleep.

Jim went out and killed. It felt wrong doing it without Seb, but it was an urge that needed to be taken care of. Of course, he had to do everything himself which reminded him painfully that Seb wasn't there to help anymore. What was he kidding, every thing reminded him of Seb. From the moment he got up to the second he fell into subconsciousness, everything was laced with connotations of Sebastian Moran.

In the weeks after Jim's revelation, the only solace he could find was scanning through CCTV footage looking at Seb. He saw it like keeping an eye on him and making sure he was alright.  He also regularly hacked into his computer to see how he was and watch him on the webcam. It was creepy but he was lonely and it was the only way he could convince himself he was alright. He got to see first hand how badly Sebastian had deteriorated. The confrontation didn't give him much time to see him close up or to take anything in. But he was sure that he could see more lines on his face and darker patches around his eyes. He could also see the kindness of Severin, his brother, which caused ambivalence.

He was happy for Seb that he had such a loving sibling, but he was jealous. Severin couldn't have been further from the only thing Jim had ever called a 'brother.'  He was glad Sebastian had him, for he was certain he would be dead if he didn't, but he was still a little bitter about the whole thing.

But the top of his list of priorities was to, of course, get Sebastian back. He wasn't sure if he could, but he knew he would try his damned hardest.

Seb wasn't doing so well. Severin noticed and tried to cheer him up but none of his efforts ever made any difference. He didn't want to leave the house and he only ever got drunk and angry.

"Why don't you just... talk to him?" Sev suggested, casually, one day as they were sat down watching daytime TV together. 

"Talk to him? And say what? 'Thanks for coming back and ruining my life for the second time?' Jesus, Seb, I couldn't even bare to look at him."

Severin sighed, growing tired of his brother's constant snapping and mood changes. They had become more frequent since Jim's return and Sev was finding it hard to keep any form of patience, "just talk to him. For God's sake, you love him and I think he loves you too so just get on with it."

"No! He hurt me! No more! I can't deal with him."

"You're drunk. I'm not talking to you like this. It's only 3 o'clock and you're drunk, Seb... I can't deal with this. Sort yourself out." Severin sighed, got up, and left. He sat in the spare room which he had claimed in the weeks he'd been there, and cried for a while. Then he opened up his phone.