Redemption || MorMor

Part of a Family

"I forgot you had a family..." Jim hummed, resting on Sebastian's chest, his eyes closed. 

"So did I." 

"Your brother seems nice."

"Yeah, he is... I didn't treat him as well as I should have though.... left him with my dad." Guilt crept up on him once again and he tightened his grip a little on Jim's shoulders.

"Is he with him now?" Jim asked, opening his eyes finally, noticing his change of mood.

"Yeah... he is, yeah. I wish he wasn't. But I don't know what to do."

"You could ask him to come back? He could stay with us, if it's really that bad." Jim offered, wanting to make him feel better. He just wanted everything to be alright. He couldn't deal with anymore negativity, not for a while at least.

"Uh... I could ask, couldn't I? That way I'm doing all I can."

He hummed and nodded, smiling a little.

"Okay, okay... I'll ring him later."

There was a contented silence for a few minutes, as Jim ran his fingertips in random patterns over Seb's arms, grateful to be in them again. Then he reached his wrist.

"Seb..."

He sighed when he saw what he was looking at. The skin had scarred over, but the memories were still fresh. It still stung when he itched at it in the shower.

"Ignore it."

"I can't. It doesn't work like that," he picked his arm up and flipped it over so he could see the full damage done. He delicately outlined it with his finger, his mind racing with possibilities of what could have been, had he been successful in his attempt to die. "What-What if it had worked-" He was crying hot tears and Seb hadn't even realised. He didn't want to deal with this now, he didn't want to talk about it. "What if you actually died and I came back and you weren't there and-"

He cut off his hysteria by a finger to his lips. "Stop. Don't think about it. Just stop. Please."

He looked at him, helpless, and a tear fell onto the sniper's chest.

"What happened has happened. You can't change it. I'm not dead and neither are you. We're okay. We're here. We're alive. That's all that matters."

He nodded, sniffing, and hugged his neck, in need of comfort. They hugged for a while, Seb muttering, "it's alright. It's okay."

Jim was walking around, looking at photos. He couldn't help but notice all of his had gone and were replaced with ones of Seb and Severin. Picking up a photo of them on holiday, he smiled at it and felt a pang of nostalgia for the things he had never experienced. He sighed a little sadly and put it back down.

"What you looking at?" Seb put hands on his waist and kissed his neck gently. He spotted the photo, "oh yeah, Spain. I think that was... well, I must have been 15. It was our last holiday before I left for the army." He chuckled a little, "I remember my dad choking on a prawn in a restaurant and refusing to talk about it afterwards because the hot male bare tender had to give him the kiss of life."

Jim couldn't help smiling too, "you're lucky..."

"Lucky?"

"To still have a family."

"Well... my father controls them all. Especially mum, she's wrapped around his finger. I haven't seen my parents for years and years. And I don't wish to either."

"You have a brother," there it was again, that pain in his chest. "You have someone."

Seb sighed a little, "do you miss having a brother?"