I can't love him (mikasaXlevi)

The next public Mission. Chapter 10.

A week past since that night and I not seen Levi since. "what did I kiss him back I don't even love him do I" I thought about that night. "why did I say I love him I love eren not Levi" was another thing I thought about a lot now. I realised Levi didn't want to see me since that night as he always walked a different way I do and swapped training days with mike so he didn't teach my class. "it must have been that night and all those mixed up feelings, the fight and what they said about farlan made us react crazy" I said to myself. I don't love Levi I knew that much. Don't get me wrong he a good captain and I don't hate him like I use to its just I will never love him.  I shook it out my head as I was bought out of my thoughts by eren. 

"hey are you ok Mikasa" eren asked with worry. "oh yeah I'm fine don't worry" I said with a straight face and not looking him in the eyes. "well this is my stop guys" Armin said as we stopped outside the hospital. "wait this is the hospital, huh are you ok Armin you can tell us things" eren said worried and freaking out by our stop. "eren, Armin had to see Hanji today remember" I said with a cold voice and looking at the stupid green eyes boy. "oh I forgot" eren said feeling stupid. "its fine but I wont be able to hang out today or go to training" Armin said with a smile and haha eyes. "wait why do you get out of training no fair" eren said in a grumps and folded his arms. "I got to help Hanji with a project of hers and it take all day" Armin said with a smile and a hand on eren arm. "oh yikes have fun with crazy Hanji, remember if you need help don't call me" eren said in a joking voice and we all giggle a little. "oh Mikasa don't forget to pick me up at 10pm" Armin said with a smile and started walking off. "I wont don't worry" Mikasa said with a little calm voice. "what does that mean" eren asked shocked by this.  "he wants me to carry him home as he fall asleep and he don't feel safe around Hanji in her lab" I said looking back with a small smile. "oh I see, I don't blame him I don't like being awake in her lab" eren said as we started to walk off.

EREN POV.

I could tell something happened to Mikasa, she tries to hide it but I can always see past her. I been wanting to ask but I know her and she wont be that easy. Everyone might be fooled by how she acts emotionlessly but I can always tell what mood she In or if something bugging her. "hey Mikasa what on your mind" I asked and she turned to me shocked. "nothing I'm fine" she says back as she walks on. I stop and wait until she relies it only took her one step. "please I cant tell something on your mind, please trust me Mikasa" I said as I looked worried at her. "fine" she says and turns to me. "so start from the begging" I said as I hugged her and we sat on some cabin steps. "it happened a week ago just don't get mad at me please" she says and I can tell this is important to her. "I will never get mad at you Mikasa, don't worry I always be by your side" I said as I hugged her tight. Mikasa tells me everything  and I mean everything. "are you angry" she says and I can tell she upset by this. "no I'm not upset at you" I said with a smile and I kiss her hand. "I'm mad at Levi for using you when your where upset" I thought to myself. "how dare he do this, I think I might have some words later" I say in my head but before I think anymore Mikasa distracts me. "hey eren can you come with me to pick Armin up and maybe sleep in my room tonight" Mikasa says with tears in her eyes but she wont let them fall. "sure I will Mikasa, I'll d anything for you" I say with a smile.

Levi POV.

Its been a week and I still cant get that night out of my head. "do I really love Mikasa or was it the night playing tricks on me" I thought as I walk to my office. I made sure I stayed away from Mikasa since then I don't want to see her for now. I changed all my lessons with Mikasa in with mike so I don't how to teach her. I been taking different ways to my office and I check her training day so I can go the other way to her. I even gone to the mess hall at the end of the feeding hour so I miss them. Yes I know I'm an evil pig for doing this but I just cant face her until I know how I really do feel. "do I really love Mikasa or am I just misunderstanding my feelings" I think and I feel horrible about what I'm doing. "I'm really a piece of shit right now" I think to myself. I should go and talk to Hanji, Mike or Erwin but can I trust them with this. I think I might just go to my office and do more paper work for now.

EREN POV.

Our training done for the day and so I send Mikasa to do her extra while I got do a job for Mike. She nods and I make my leave to Levi office. I told Mikasa I would meet her at 9:50 as we already had dinner. she looked a little better after training and I know her extra training always help her think. I opened the cabin of offices and make my way to the end office. I stop at the door with Captain Levi on top and knocked. I waited for an answer before I walk in. "yes what is it eren" Levi said in a cold voice looking at papers. "you sir" I said in anger. "oh and what have I done" Levi said not even looking up. "how dare you not looked at me after what you did" I said in anger, oh how much I wanted to go titan on his ass. "excuse me" Levi says in anger and standing up. "why did you use her and mess with her that night" I said in anger and shouted. "what are you talking about" Levi said in a non caring voice and made some coffee. "you used Mikasa when she was upset because of farlan" I said I wanted to punch him, how can he not care about this. "what" Levi looked back at me in shock. "Mikasa hides her feelings and she finally let them out, then you took advance's of it" I said with tears forming. "excuse me, are you saying I used that brat of yours" Levi said in a cold voice. "yes you are a monster captain" I said. "oh so I'm a monster now" Levi said as he just looked up at me. "yes how dare you kiss Mikasa and then hide from her" I said with anger. "well who gonna stop me from kissing and anyways anyone would hide form her" he said as he walked over to me. This pissed me off even more and I lost control, I went to punch him in the face but he stopped me and grab my fist. "now eren you can be killed for trying to hit a captain" Levi said with anger and he lets go of me "get out and think about what you now did" he said as he turned back to his desk. "if a titan was about to kill you don't expect me to save you" was the thing I said before I left. 

Levi POV.

The brat eren finally left but he left these words behind "if a titan was about to kill you don't expect me to save you". God I hate him for coming in and shouting at me. "I knew he wad just protecting his friend and he was right" I said to myself. I'm a monster for what I'm doing to Mikasa and I should talk to her. "I wish I could go back in time but I be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the kiss" I said as I looked to see eren walking over to the hospital. I was worried to see him go over and so I decide to follow him, as It was nearly 10 pm. As I walked out of the cabin I bumped into Erwin. "hey Levi I need you to go get eren, Mikasa and Armin for me please" Erwin said as an order. "why me" I asked as I turned around, this is just all I need. "well I'm going to help mike get Hanji as she fast asleep, so be thankful" he said and walked off. 

Mikasa POV.

I got here early so I decide to go pick up eren and meet eren outside. As I walk out the hospital I see eren. "hey" I said as I walked down the stairs. "hey you already got him" eren said worried. "yeah well I got here early so I thought I get him out" I said with a small smile. "yeah we don't want Hanji getting to him first" eren said with a smile. "lets get him to his bed and sleep" I said as we started to walk off. "do you want me to carry him" eren asked with a smile. "I'm good for now but we can swap half way" I said and eren just nodded. we started to walk until we got ordered to stop, we turn around to see Levi standing with his arms crossed. "what sir" eren said in anger and I was shocked he always been sacred of Levi. "don't talk like that to a captain" Levi said with anger and shouted. I felt Armin move a little "shut up or you wake him" I said in a wispier. Levi just looked at me and then at Armin who was sleeping cuddle up to me like a small kid. "fine but Erwin wants to talk to you 3 so follow me and you can tell your friend tomorrow what said" Levi said as he started to walk.

we got to the mission room and was shocked to see a sleeping Hanji in a chair with mike and Erwin next to her. "oh hey Mikasa, I missed you so much" mike said as he went for a hug. "wait" eren said quickly, "Armin sleeping on Mikasa" eren said pointing him out. "oh silly me sorry looked like we had the same job" mike said with a smile and pointing to Hanji. "yeah where can I put Armin so he can sleep" I said looking at mike with a small smile. "put him in this chair Mikasa" Erwin said as he pointed to a chair. "here I take him and put him down I'm better at that then you" eren said with a smile and taking Armin. I looked around to see everyone socked by how many times we done this and have a plan. "so why did you want us" Levi said with a cold voice and I saw eren clench's his fist again. 

"I'm sorry but we going on another mission into an unknown area next week" Erwin said.