Fire and Desires: Book 8 (Completed)

Chapter Three

My body was heaving. My mind confused. I wasn't a teenager anymore. Why was I feeling all these conflicting emotions. Seeing Jordan today had brought up all those burning feelings. Then there was Brandon. I thought I had left all those feelings behind me. He had been such a good friend to me. He picked me up when I was down. He had been there for me when I needed him. He had taken the broken pieces of my heart and made it whole again

"Izzy. Can I come in?" I heard Brittany outside my door. "I need to talk to you."

I quickly wiped my tears. "I'll be out in a minute. Sorry for running out on the kids. I'm ok now."

Brittany opened the door and came in. I half expected her to be a bit cross with me. Especially after her outburst in the kitchen before but she came in and put her arms around me and gave me a comforting hug.

"Hey Izzy. I'm sorry my twins were being naughty. They just love both you and Brandon so much. I guess they thought it was all part of a game. Don't worry about it. Nobody was really looking anyway. The kids were too busy getting into the birthday cake. Everybody's gone home now. If you feel up to it maybe you want to help me with the clean up. We can have a little heart to heart. Might make you feel better."

I looked into Brittany's empathic face and smiled. We had become so close over the years. I saw her more like an older sister than my employer. My heart was well and truly entrenched with this family. She has always told me I was like the little sister she never had. I knew the love I had for her was mutual. I stood up and pasted a bright smile on my face. Brittany laughed and said, "I don't think you'll be smiling when you see the mess we have to clean up. Lucky for me, Talia's offered a hand to pitch in."

We walked downstairs and headed into the kitchen. The usually glamorous Talia had the sleeves rolled up on her expensive shirt and she was wearing a well worn apron. I quickly stifled a laugh at the unusual sight.

"Oh thank goodness you're back Britt. I seriously don't know how you can handle being a mum on a full time basis. Zac's in the living room with the kids now. Everybody else has gone home."

I visibly sighed at Talia's statement. At least Jordan and Brandon had gone. I couldn't deal with either of them right now.

"Those two guys, Kai's brothers, sorry I can never tell which one is which. They wanted to stay and help but I pushed them out the door. I sensed you didn't want them here. Hmm so tell me Izzy, what's up with that performance out there in the garden. You guys kiss and make up or something."

"I er oh..." the words were stuck in my mouth. Thankfully Brittany stepped in for me.

"Leave it for now Talia. She'll tell us when she's ready."

We busied ourselves clearing out the mountains of plates and cups that were scattered around the backyard. I could hear the sounds of Daddy do this and Daddy look at me from inside the house. I could hear Zac laughing as he played with his kids. I always knew I wanted a family but I guess I never really gave thought to the kind of guy I wanted as the Father of my children. I knew that was a long way off for me but as I listened to Zac I suddenly knew I wanted a guy like that. One that was truly devoted to his wife and children. Maybe I had been looking at things wrong. Maybe what I wanted from a relationship was a future and not just a fast and furious affair.

After the last piece of rubbish had been collected, the three of us collapsed in the living room in exhaustion. Zac was putting the kids to bed and we enjoyed the temporary solitude.

Talia suddenly piped up. "So Izzy, spill. I've been waiting all night to hear what's going on between you and Kai's brothers. Britt might not have told you but I'm an expert when it comes to matters of the heart. Trust me. I went out with plenty of guys before I finally settled down with Blaine."

Her eyes were wide and her words sounded rude but I knew she meant well. I knew I could trust her.

"I don't know. Is it possible to have intense feelings for two different guys at the same time? One makes me crazy with desire but the other one makes me feel so loved and secure. I thought I excitement and fire was what I wanted but now I'm thinking that maybe it's love and I security that I want. I know I sound stupid. Why can't I just move on?"

"Love is complicated Izzy. That's the part that makes it so thrilling. Maybe you need to just close your eyes and see where it takes you. Hey I'm not saying go out and marry the guy but perhaps it's time to open your heart again. I was scared once. To open my heart I mean. I kept it closed for a long time. I was scared of getting hurt but in the end I started hurting everybody around me including myself. Sure my heart did get broken. More than a few times after that but at least I was open to love. Does that make sense?"

Talia's advice seem to sink in. Had I overlooked the one person who had been here for me just because I was scared of being heartbroken again. Could it be possible that I'd find true happiness if I could only let it in. I rubbed my head. The thoughts were too confusing.

Zac came downstairs and sat next to Brittany and gave her a peck and pulled her close in a loving kind of way. Talia rolled her eyes in mock disgust.

"Oh you guys. No wonder you have four young kids running around. Wouldn't surprise me if another was already on its way."

Both Zac and Brittany went red and tried to laugh it off. I kept a tiny smile on my face. I knew the truth. Soon enough there would be a new addition to the household. I knew I wanted what Zac and Brittany had one day in the not so distant future. I knew it was time to open my heart to the possibilities of love.