Eyes full of stars | ✔️

Chapter 4: Never

"You can never never never ever hide your heart

Don't you ever ever ever ever try

If you don't give your heart wings you'll

Never never never ever fly"

-Moving Pictures

*

I was photocopying some documents when Sebastian, taking advantage of Grace's absence, entered the office without warning and in complete silence, like he seemingly enjoyed to do. The light of the scanner was moving back and forth and I had to blink one more time before my weary eyes could focus on him.

He was wearing a dark green sweater on a grey shirt, jeans in designer label and elegant black shoes. He looked just... perfect. He saw me, smiled in the sweetest way and took a few steps towards me.

Trying my best to stay calm, I smiled back and got to him, rubbing my cold hands against each other.

"Hello, Sebastian" I greeted him, sounding like a little girl.

"Hello, Lily" he said, stopping right in front of me.

In that moment I noticed that, behind him, Grace appeared from nowhere and was gesturing in an excited and ridiculous way in our direction, like she wanted to congratulate and/or motivate me and also compliment him on his good looks. I was only glad she was doing that in complete silence, like a mime. So embarrassing. I blinked and turn towards Sebastian again. He didn't notice a thing.

"I hope you're well" he went on. "I just stopped by to say that I managed to clear my planner for our project, every day for an hour. We could meet here at 2 o'clock, right after lunch, from tomorrow, if it is okay for you."

"Of course" I replied, all my muscles, from the neck down, completely static. "Great."

Sebastian smiled again, his hazel eyes were so warm. "Perfect" he said. "See you tomorrow, then!"

"See you tomorrow."

He left. I just stood there, a statue of salt in the middle of Mr. Lavender's office entrance. Only the sound of the photocopier was breaking the silence inside and out of me.

"Who was that?" a gloomy voice behind me asked.

Melissa's left eye was observing me from behind her computer screen. I had nearly forgotten she was there, to be honest.

"Sebastian Lowe" I promptly replied. "He came here to see Mr. Lavender twice in the past weeks. Didn't you see him?"

"I must have been at the toilet" she replied in the same grave tone. "If I had seen that sweet cookie before, I would have noticed him for sure."

I was shocked. "Melissa!"

She disappeared behind her computer screen again and I heard her start typing intensely. "Lily, if I was your age" her voice came again, "I would dip that cookie in my latte with no hesitation."

Torn between laughing and blushing, I returned to the photocopier and finished my job with a sigh... and a smirk.

***

Later that evening, I was home alone with Sherlock, reading a book in my bed. I took a sip of tea and my eyes went up to the dresser, on Sebastian's framed picture. I had downloaded and printed it from the David H. Pierce website ages before. He looked very charming and professional in that picture, but he wasn't smiling at all, which, in my opinion, was sad.

I put mug and book on my night table and, out of curiosity, I checked Sebastian's Facebook scrolling through his photos. He didn't post many of himself, mostly of buildings and projects that he had worked on over the years. Here and there there were still pictures of him with his ex-girlfriends, who actually looked like they all worked for the same Las Vegas strip club. But who was I to judge whom he would fall in love with?

I was just average. Not really beautiful, not really thin. I had curly auburn hair, chocolate brown eyes and numerous freckles around my nose, forehead and cheekbones - which are cute when you are little girl, but not when you are in your thirties -. And besides my personality - shy! - and hobbies - books! -, the fact that I didn't look like a showgirl was enough to exclude me from Sebastian's list of potential dates.

"But, who knows?" I whispered, looking at an old picture of him as a teenager, standing on a beach with another boy, supposedly a friend, who also was terribly cute. "Maybe I will manage to make you change your mind."

***

I quickly brushed my hair and applied the concealer on some freckles. I looked my reflection on the mirror straight in the eye, took a deep breath and said "You can do this, Lily."

I was wearing a long dark blue top that I had bought for a party months before and never worn again, a black jacket, black skinny trousers and some inches-high heels. I actually looked quite sexy and I was so convinced that I took a selfie and sent it to Felicity.

Will Sebastian appreciate?

Maneater ;)

I got out of the toilet feeling Melissa's eyes on me on my way to the desk. The typing stopped, then started again a few seconds later. Maybe she stopped just to take a sip of water, with no intention of making some weird comment about cookies and lattes.

Sebastian arrived two minutes later. This time, Grace announced him by calling me on my extension number.

"Mr. Sebastian Lowe is looking for you, Miss Montgomery" she said in her squeaky voice. I even could sense that she added a wink to her tone, somehow.

I rolled my eyes. "Thank you, Grace. Let him in."

When Sebastian came in I thought "No, I can't do this."

He was wearing black square glasses, a white shirt and a grey sweater that fit his torso perfectly. He was carrying some folders and documents under his right arm and he smiled at me. He was the most handsome man on Earth and he was smiling at me. I was about to die.

"Good afternoon, Sebastian" I found myself saying without even noticing. His smile didn't disappear and I led him to the meeting room.

"Thank you" he said.

He put the folders and documents on the table while I was closing the door behind us. We took seats across from each other.

"How are you?" he asked as he opened some folders.

"I'm fine, thanks" I replied. Small talk is boring but necessary.

"I have these contract attachments than I need Edmund to sign and send back to me by Monday" he went on in a kind but professional tone. He put some documents in a folder and handed it to me.

The rest of our first official meeting proceeded in pretty much the same way. I was a bit nervous - I dropped my pencil on the floor more than once -, but everything went well, we were both very professional people. Sometimes I would lose myself into his eyes or smile, or the movements of his Adam's apple, or the way he would lick his fingers to turn the pages. I just couldn't resist, I had never spent more than three minutes alone with him, an entire hour was overwhelming for me.

Getting flirting vibes from Sebastian, catching him as he took glances of my breasts or smiling at me longer than necessary would have been a dream coming true, but he just behaved like a perfect gentleman... who had no sexual interest in me.

"Give it time" I told myself, trying to overcome my insecurities. "He has just acknowledged your existence."

"Well" Sebastian sighed, examining his watch. "I think this is enough for today." He got up and took the folders he hadn't given me. I did the same, sad that our time together was up.

I accompanied him to the office entrance, stopping in a spot where Grace could not see us.

"Thank you for everything, Sebastian" I smiled. "So... I'll see you on Monday?"

"You can count on it" he replied, removing his glasses. "Have a nice weekend, Lily."

"You too" I breathed.

As soon as I saw him getting inside the lift I ran to the toilet and locked myself inside. I rested my hands on the sink and took the latest deep breath of the day.

"Oh, Sebastian... I love you so much."