forgetting me

04

June 15th, 2002

John's phone rang. He didn't recognize the number, but it was too late at night for him to care. He picked up.

"Who is this?" asked John.

"What would you do if I disappeared off the face of the earth?"

John didn't need any introduction to know exactly who he was speaking to.

"William, come home. Stop being cryptic and self-apologetic. You aren't going to die or disappear," John replied. There was silence from the other end of the phone.

"But. . . What if I did?" William said at last.

"William. Call a cab and get home. I'm waiting for you to come home so I can go to sleep." John paused. "Son, I'm worried. Are you drunk?"

"I'm not drunk. Just answer the question!" William answered, almost yelling.

"William,-" John started, but he was cut off by the tone that signaled his son had hung up.

John slammed the phone onto the table, angered at the disconnect that he and William had going on currently. He closed his eyes and placed his aching head in his hands. William had gone down a path John had never wanted to watch his son go down.

John's phone rang again a few minutes later, but he ignored the sound. He couldn't speak to William again.

A voicemail came up on his phone, but John didn't react. He might have never listened to the message if his wife hadn't walked into the living room.

"John, are you alright?" she asked, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Fine," he replied. He glanced up into Diana's eyes and gave her a small smile.

She picked John's phone up off the table.

"Who called?"

"William." John took a few deep breaths. He didn't notice that Diana pressed play until his son's voice sliced through the silence.

"Hey, dad." John looked up at Diana holding his phone. William took a shaky breath, and John noted he sounded like he'd just cried. "Can you tell Lainie I love her? I don't know if she knows it, after our fight. Tell her I'm sorry. And, dad?" William's voice cracked, and John started shaking. "Dad, I love you, too."

The voicemail ended. John was crying now. He didn't know what was going on with William, and that terrified him. Diana handed him his phone back and kissed his cheek. She left him alone.

John tried to call the number back seven times, but no one picked up. He left three voicemails, two saying how William is loved and needs to come home, and one where John screamed for someone, anyone, to pick up.

He listened to William's voicemail until he fell asleep on the couch.