Dude Looks Like a Lady

Hey, Babe

  Who knew vibrate meant it would still be deathly loud?

    "What the...are you going to answer that?" he was disgruntled, propping himself up on his elbows and glaring at me.

   "Uh, yeah, sorry," I was still trying to wake up myself, blindly searching for my phone in the darkness. Finally touching it, I flipped it open only to be meant by a blinding light. I hate technology.

   "Uh, hello," I rubbed at one of my eyes, yawning.

"It's Charlie."

   I nearly dropped my phone, receiving an odd look from Roy, "Charlie! Uh, hey babe, I thought I told you I would check in?"

   "Did you just call me babe?" I could hear the disgust practically dripping from her words, "Ugh, never-mind, I kill you later for it...any details yet?"

 "Uh, hun, how bout I call you back later?"

     "Did you just call me hun?!" I pulled the phone slightly away from my ear, grimacing. Her voice was never a pleasant thing to wake up to. "What is your prob-oh, oh. I understand."

   I got up, nearly collapsing again, before regaining my balance and wobbling to the bathroom door.

"You're going to talk on the phone in the bathroom?"

   I looked at Roy, barely making out his form in the darkness, "Hey, I like my privacy." I argued weakly, slamming the door shut rather loudly.

   "Okay, why would you call at three in the morning? Unlike you, normal people like to sleep around this time." I sat in the tub, head between knees.

   "Any details yet?"

Of course that's the first thing she's concerned about. Work-alcoholic.

   "No. It's barely been the first day and I haven't started classes yet. Can you at least wait until the end of this day before dumping questions on me?"

   "We need to get this done quickly. If you forgotten, Tony, the article is due at the end of this month. Which only leaves us with exactly twenty-six days to get this done and perfect. You have no time for sleep what-so-ever. Get. Information. NOW."

  I groaned, rubbing my temples, "If you wanted the job done correctly, you shoulda done it yourself."

"Excuse me?" I grimaced again, holding the phone from my ear.

    "Seriously, do you want me to go deaf in the right ear?...Sorry, I didn't mean to get snappy with you. Just tired, that's all."

   "Fine, whatever. Just get the info...Do you have a roommate?"

I nodded, then remembered I was on the phone, murmuring "Yes, sadly."

   "No, no. That's just what we need. This means you will be around a guy 24/7. Get as much as you can."

   "And how do I do that?"

There was a pause, the phone crinkling, "Ask him causal questions. Guy talk. Something."

   "Wow, that helped so much. You know, you should give advice like that on a regular bases."

     "Watch your tone with me. Or else I'll have your head on a mantle above my bed."

I shuddered, thanking that she wasn't actually here. "Why couldn't we have asked one of our boyfriends or something?"

   She snorted, chuckling hoarsely, "Please. Do you really think any of us have boyfriends?"

I sighed, "No, I know. We're a sad little group, aren't we?"

    "Yep. Pretty much. Now, get off the phone. We need you in top shape. Bye."

"Bye."

   I got up from the tub, stretched, making my way out of the bathroom.

I set my phone down, falling into my bed with a groan.

    "Who was that?" great, he was still awake.

"My girlfriend." I stated bluntly, rolling over onto my side. Never been so tired in my life.

   "Oh." was the last word spoken that very early morning.

***

   It's official. I don't like uniforms.