Dude Looks Like a Lady

Smile Because I Have To

  The Life of an Average Teenage Boy

                            By: Antonia Crock

  I looked at the title, fingers hovering over the key board. So, is that it? I tried to nudge my fingers to press one of the keys, only managing a small twitch of my index. Shit, not a good sign...

  "C'mon, Tony. Roy's gone, you have the dorm to yourself, this is the perfect time...so write." Of course, I chose to ignore my own words, staring blankly at the screen, mouth opened and a string of drool starting from my lip and ending at my chin.

   Writers Block. I've caught it. I've caught the most fatal disease known to man.

"Words, words, think of some words..." I licked up the drool, the saliva cool and gross, moving one finger, "Yes, that's it," it pressed against a key, then another moved as followed. I couldn't help the insane smile smothering my lips, "That's it my pretties, type..."

   A life of a teenage boy? Ever wonder how they live, what they do and how they interreact? Well, I, Antonia Crock, have went undercover at an all boys' boarding school, Prince Charles Academy, and h-.

 Erase. Erase. ERASE.

Start over. Just start over.

   Ever wonder what a day in life as a boy is, girls? Well, I, Antonia Crock, have went undercover a-.

  No, that's bad too. Start over.

I inhaled through my nose, and exhaled through my mouth. This can't be too hard, right? Just like writing any other article...expect this could win your team a butt load of money and could possibly change all of their lives and may-no, stop, just stop. Write.

   I, Antonia Crock, have been undercover as a male student for a m-.

"Fuck." my head hit the keyboard, fist slamming on either sides. "I hate my life."

***

  I lied, face down, in my pillow. My laptop was peeking out from under my bed, mocking me for being a complete and utter failure.

  Two weeks. I had two weeks to finish that damn article.

"Hnnn..."

***

  Back to the computer. Okay, I got this. Roy is only gone for another half an hour. That should give enough time to at least finish three paragraphs. Come on, Tony.

  Living life as a teenage boy. Wonder how it's done? I, Antonia Crock, have managed to go undercover at Prince Charles Academy and get all the vital details.

  I swallowed, erasing the piece of crap that just escaped my mind.

If you plan on finishing out the year here, you can't add your name in, idiot.

   "Dammit."

***

   The Next Day

"Yeah, uh-huh, sure," I muttered, books clasped to my side. I've gotten over my boy dodge ball phase, finally realizing 'hey, moron, do that and you'll attract even more attention to yourself!' and decided to suck it up like a real man.

   "Really? You think Charlie will be okay with it?"

I nodded again, barely giving Roy half my mind. He was saying something that I tuned out as soon as he began.