Dude Looks Like a Lady

That Awkward Moment When...

 Note #100: They're there in life for a purpose, not just so you have something to stare at.

***

    "Uh...hey, Charlie."

 "What do you want? Some people enjoy sleeping you know."

    I held back the remark I was going to make, which would have likely landed me dead within a heart beat, nervously cracking my knuckles.

   I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to call her. I don't even want to be alive right now.

"Er, sorry," how do you do this? I've never actually tried before. And I was hoping, when I did, it would be for a guy not my bitch of a leader, "I was just wondering if you'd like to-uh- go out on a date with me tonight?"

  I got the ring of a dead receiver.

Shit....

***

    This was my fifth time calling her. The fifth time. 

I rocked back and forth on the toilet seat, chewing through my bottom lip as the phone chimed. Answer...answer...

   "Why the hell do you keep calling me?! I already said no!!"

I cringed, pulling the phone away from my abused ear. I swear she was going to make me deaf by the time I was thirty, "Please, stop yelling. I seriously need this from you."

   "A date? You really need a date from me?" there was a paused, "I didn't know you were that desperate, Tony."

   I grounded my teeth together, "Trust me, I rather ripped my own eye balls out, melt them and have them for dinner than ask you of all people on a date."

   "Then why are you?"

"Because, well," what do I say to that?, "you see...I, uh...oh for god sakes just say yes!"

    "Why should I?"

"Because it will help with the article."

   There was another pause, "Fine, I'm in."

"Really?"

   "I said yes, didn't I?"

 "Sweet, come by at six, wear something pretty, do something with your face and it's going to be a double date. Okay?"

  "Okay. And what's wrong with my face?"

"It's hideous," I pulled the phone from my ear again, hearing the screeching before it even started.

***

    "So, why am I doing this again?" she readjusted her skirt for the eighth time that night, standing awkwardly by my bed.

    "You told me I should get to know Roy better, right?"

"Well, yeah, but what does that have to do with," she motioned to her attire, then nodded at my poorly fitted outfit, "this?"

    I fixed my tie again, "I asked him if he wanted to do, uh, guy things tonight. He said he had a date, some chick he meant at our party a couple days ago, so I suggestion a...um...double date. Which, brings you into the equation," I glanced at her and smirked, "babe."

  She sneered, adjusting her skirt again, "I swear, if you call me that once on this 'date', I will punch your lights out right then and there. And I won't give a shit what people would say."

   I nodded tightly, "I believe you."

"Good," she paused, glancing around the small dorm, "so, where is your roommate?"