Unnecessary (Jamilton Soulmate AU)

I felt love.

((Aaron's POV))

Thomas Jefferson.
Curly hair.
Dark skin.
Looked fucking amazing.

I had always had a little thing for Thomas, but I ignored it. Since birth I had been told that being gay was wrong. I had even torn apart a person's life on that one fact, so I didn't plan to give in to any... homosexual feelings anytime soon.
But...
Seeing Alex there...
Screaming in Thomas' face...
Then...
Saying they were...
Boyfriends...?

Something sparked inside of me.

Thomas had a few tears streaming down his face, his eyes still struck with shock and fear. He looked so on edge and hurt. It made me feel so... piteful for him...

"Thomas..." I put a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't FUCKING touch me...!" He snapped. "This is all your fault!"
"What!? What did I do!?"
"How could you forget!? That day in kindergarten, you got me to turn on Alex! Just because we were friends!" He cried, his legs shaking. "You ruined my life!"

You ruined my life.
You ruined my life.
You ruined my life.

Then it hit me.
I did ruin his life.
And Alex's.
And anyone else who suffered because of me.
I ruined their lives.
I was a monster....

~Flashback~

My soulmate and I never had a steady connection. I'd occasionally get cuts, or bruises, but they never explained why. We never really had a steady conversation, either. They often left and didn't return for days.
I would randomly leave them little messages, asking them to stop self-harming, but they never did. Sometimes I wondered if they ever even got my messages... They never really seemed to acknowledge them.
I never found out if my soulmate was a man or a woman... or their name... or anything about them, really.
All I knew was that they were hurt.
A few weeks ago, I got new cuts on my arms. Very, VERY deep ones. They left me fading in and out of reality, due to blood loss.
Then, in cold, sharpie, the words, "I'm sorry..." appeared before they cut over that, the pain becoming unbearable.
I remember stumbling to the bathtub and just letting myself bleed out. I eventually passed out.

When I woke up, something felt... different...
I looked around and...
Red.
All I could see was red.
I had never seen any color before in my life, but suddenly, I could see... red?
The blood was a dark, dark red.
I didn't understand.
I slowly wrapped up my arms and cleaned out the bathtub, trying not to cry from the pain.
I picked up my phone and looked it up. After hours and hours of research, I found it.

The soulmate phenomenon is a very strange one. A person renders completely unable to see any color until they have kissed their soulmate. Soulmates can be one sided (ex. Person A's soulmate is Person B, but Person B is soulmates with Person C), three (or more) ways (ex. Person A, Person B, and Person C are all eachother's soulmates.), and mutual (ex. Person A and Person B are soulmates.)
It is also documented that whatever one soulmate does to their own arm, will appear on the other's.
In a mutual soulmate relationship, if one of the soulmates happens to die, before having kissed the other, the soulmate left alive will be left only being able to see the color red. Researchers are still searching for an answer to this ordeal, but many think it symbolizes a broken heart, or, in some cases, blood.

I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it.
My soulmate was dead.
I was cursed to be forever alone and forever without love.
I would never truly be happy.

I don't remember if I cried or not.

The only clear memory after that was when Thomas showed back up.

~End of Flashback~

((Wait for it.....))

((Just wait.....))

((Almost there.....))

((John's POV))
((BET'CHA DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN, HUH?))

Death didn't hurt.
It wasn't agonizing pain.
One moment I was alive, the next I wasn't.
There's no turning point.
No time to regret your choice.
No time to think.
You're there...
Then you're not.

My life was never all that great.
My dad was abusive.
My mom was dead.
I was never truly happy.
The contact with my "soulmate" faded in and out, but for some reason... it wasn't Alex.
They didn't write like Alex...
Or feel like Alex...
Or even seem like Alex...

I always wondered why Alex gave my color, but wasn't exactly my soulmate.
I never knew why... until I died...

See, when you die, you get to see your soulmate. One last time.
Once I slipped out of reality, I didn't see Alex.

Aaron.

Aaron Burr.

Bleeding... helpless... dying...

He had been my other half.

It all made sense, then.
Aaron was my true soulmate. I had just speant years and years convincing myself that Alex was. But he wasn't.
When I thought I saw color, I realized... I hadn't seen shit. I had simply been so fucking elated that my mind conjured up the thought of happiness and serenity. I had forced myself to break the black and white filter my life had. I had broken a wall that no one else ever had.

I saw color that day...

Without my soulmate.

You don't need a soulmate to see color...
You just need someone who makes you so happy they break the wall...

If only there was some way the world could know this.

But of course, there isn't.

((HOHOHO 119 WORDS HUNNY))

((I'M SO SORRYYYYYY))