Secret In our Heart (Peraya)

Space

17 November 2017 @ 11.00pm

Kritt........

Message from: Kit

20.11.17 do not forget! I'll be waiting. I don't need any gifts, just you is enough. "Don't pretend like you don't read my message." See you at KU <3

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Just you is enough..... Is it?

Sing, what is it that you are mumbling about? What is enough?," quiet shocked from the sudden interruption , looking back all I can see is P jane crossing his arm while leaning behind the door with a faint smile. I know he knew and I know that he always knew from the beginning whatever that I buried deep down on my heart. Lose on my thought all that I can do is smile back while nodding my head. He gave me my passport and boarding pass while patting my head he ask me, "Did he know about this trip?"

No. I need a space to breath. A space without him.

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Krist house (His bedroom)

No reply again? I have been sending the same messages for the past 2 weeks about my graduation day and all that I can remember is he only reply three times with "K". God this lion is killing me, is it so hard to at least type "ok". I have been eating my phone screen for half an hour, but still nothing, not a single line message. Trying to compose my feeling all I can do is reading his old messages, "K", "Take care", "No game", "Sleep early" and emoticons. Am I that bothering, P? Tired of waiting I decided to sleep, closing my eyes and then..

Krittt...

Message from : My Singtuan

K, noted. No game tonight and sleep early. You look so pale today. Don't be sick.

Holly freaking cow, it's sixteen words, is he been possessed or what? Don't be sick, fine anything for you My Singtuan.

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Singto pov

13.10.17 @ 10.00pm

How are you? Why you been hospitalized? Be safe. I have told you many times to take care of yourself, take a lot of rest, please don't make me worried, I almost lose my...........

Bit by bit, letters by letters, I erase those words until what left behind is "How are you? Be safe."

"My mind become numb when I see his picture circulating around social media, looking so pale and hopeless, only god knows how much my heart want to be beside him, cuddle him in my arm while soothing his pain, but reality slapped me hard, I don't have any right on him. Who am I? "

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Kasetsart University.

Damn I am late, I am freaking late. Honestly my body still feel numb, its feel like I am dragging my leg. My step become faster while trying so hard to balance my movement so that I am not tripped. My eyes keep wondering left and right, where the hell is he? He tell me that he already arrived, I am started to feel frustrated , I have told him many times to wait for me at the front gate, I want to meet him first. "Where is P Singto?", I keep asking all the passer-by that I see, sometime I can see that they started to smile and giggle, PERAYA shipper maybe? Who care, what I need the most is him? Where?

Forcing my smile while standing at the balloon stage, smile Kit. Waving my hand to the fans that started to fill up the spaces, giving me lots of gifts, I am happy to be this loved by many but it feel empty without him. Suddenly I hear fans cheering loudly, Is he finally here? And no the answer is no, it was P Off who come, half heartily I greet him, trying to hide my disappointed face. It goes on and finally behind those pile of huge balloon on my hand , I am looking back accompany with the cheers, there he is , struggle to break through the fans, all I can see is him, I am relieved. With an open arm I ask for a hug, closing my eyes, tighten the hug, snuggle on his shoulder, just feel the moment, I am happy finally. Closed my lips to his neck, lightly I place a kiss and whispering " Now I am breathing".

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Krist pov

" Keep asking myself how and when he is started to become so significant in my life that it is really hard to get by a day without him, slowly his existence creep into my heart, his smile, his devilish demeanour, his sharp advise and everything about him mesmerised me. Having a battle on my own, trying so hard to push all the wrong thought but it failed me hard. I end up falling more and more into his space, a space that I can feel solaces, a space of him and me. Some people call it lust, some people just label it as "wrong" but I call it love. Love is love, it has no labels. I just want to love, love with no regret but why do I feel like he keep fading away? Me and him, I know we share the same feeling but why does he keep running away? Is it really true that this kind of love has no end?"