Secret In our Heart (Peraya)

Longing

GMM TV Building

The step become so heavy as his heartbeat started to rise, his palm keep sweating and his head is getting dizzy, slowly the nervousness creep into inch of his body. "Damn it!!!" Get a grip of himself he continued his walking, gathering all the remaining energy that he have, then all of a sudden he froze when he saw their picture at the LED TV near the entrance, they were laughing happily, "I need to protect that smile, that laugh, whatever it takes, whatever the price will be."

P Tha office

He has been waiting for twenty minutes but P Tha still nowhere to be seen, he started to feel agitated and annoyed, losing his patience he wake up from the chair...

"Mad? Don't be, I am just finish my meeting, sit down. You and your temper never cease to amaze me." He look so annoyed, it's all written in his face, something about Krist Perawat is, he is so transparent, not good at hiding his emotion unlike Singto.

"Don't you ever do that again P, I hate it."

"What? Am I not allowed to be late? I am the boss here incased you forget about it." That fire in his eyes, deep down I know what he is implying, he must have known about his meeting with Singto.

"Don't play dumb with me P, after this if you have anything to say about our relationship, talk to me, just leave him alone, don't use my parent, my mother to abuse him, you know how much it will affect him, he respect you P, so please.."

"Abuse? We are talking about millions of Baht here Kit, all the money that has been invested to create Krist Perawat, I need to do whatever it takes to protect my asset, the board of director will chewing me if I messed up, if you messed up, it is not about me , you or Sing and it will never be, it is all about the "money". As much as I love Kit like my brother, my position as the CEO will always be the burden in our brotherly relationship.

"I love him, he is my lover and it will stay that way even if you or the company didn't like it but I know about my obligation to my contract , to my duty. All you need is money, so take it, how much that you want, how much project, endorsement, show, fan meeting, I will do it all, no complaints but stay away from my relationship and P .. common you know it well "Peraya" means money." I hate to say this , it looks like I am using our fans to my own selfish reason but I don't have the choice, they are all the shield that I have, a shield that I can trust.

"The relationship should remained hidden in the dark, "imaginary" and it will stay that way." I try to search for his reaction through his eyes but all is there is his cold stare that giving chilled to my body.

"Fine." I just don't know why all of a sudden I feel so frustrated and disappointed, maybe because I always think that P Tha is someone who will always on my side, a big brother that I can count on. I bit him my farewell, Wai at him and walk away.

"Do you love him that much?" It is first time for him seeing Kit this worked up, that determination in his eyes, how much he treasure this relationship, he is indeed deeply in love with Singto.

"The CEO don't have to know about that."

"I am asking you as a big brother, let's talk some more, sit and have a chat with me."

"You are confusing me P."

"I need to do my job Nong, try to understand me."

"I feel lost without him, no matter how many jokes I am laughing at, no matter how many "beautiful view"  pouring right through my eyes, my heart is empty, it feel like I was abandon in the darkness, all alone, and I am scared of that feeling, that feeling of you feel nothing."