Lost In You

T W E N T Y - O N E

"So how come you're here?" I asked, leaning forward on my elbows and taking a bite out of my toast. Aunt Claire was drinking coffee and flicking through a magazine. She glanced up for a moment before closing the magazine and leaning forward. My Aunt was the polar opposite of my mother, even though they were twins. Where my Mum was tall and slim my Aunt was short and round. My Mum's light blonde hair was a stark contrast to me Aunts nearly black locks, and Mum's paleness shone in contrast to Claire's olive tone, but one thing was the same. Their eyes. Both had startling blue eyes, so pale that sometimes they seemed grey, other days they were like sapphires. I wasn't lucky enough to inherit hat gene unfortunately.

"Your Mum reached out to me, asked me to come home for a wee bit," She explained, tucking a piece of her long hair behind her ear and taking a long sip of her coffee. I nodded.

"She loves you," She added, "More than anything. I know she struggles to show it sometimes but she really does. Just give her a chance to make it up to you."

I nodded and finished off my toast.

"When are we going?" I asked while I put my plate in the dishwasher. We were going shopping to buy some new clothes because all the clothes I had were too small for me.

That was something I was still coming to terms with.

Tyler had reluctantly gone to school a couple of hours ago, but he hadn't failed in texting me for most of the morning. My phone pinged and I couldn't stop the smile on my face as I read the text, it pinged again before I could answer though.

Tyler: Save me.

Tyler: Kara and Mason are making out, and Farrah isn't here.

I laughed quietly and typed out a reply, ignoring the funny look that Claire gave me from the table.

Me: You poor baby, I'd help you out but...

Tyler: But what?

Me: But you weren't very nice to me last night.

Tyler: I thought I was VERY nice to you last night.

Me: No. You left me in quite a situation... ;)

Tyler: Oh, did I?

Claire spoke before I had a chance to reply, and I reluctantly slipped my phone into my back pocket.

"Who's the boy?" She teased, an easy smile on her lips and a glimmer in her eye.

"I can't tell you," I said apologetically, not even waiting to think about what would happen if Mum were to find out that we were... whatever we were.

"Do I know him?" She asked, pouring another cup of coffee.

This woman drank more coffee than I did, and I drank a lot of coffee.

"No, probably not," I shook my head and headed for the door, hoping to get out of this conversation as soon as possible. Claire had a knack for knowing when someone was lying, and i was an awful liar.

"I'll meet you downstairs in half an hour? Then we can go, and I'm driving," I smirked and disappeared around the corner, on my way to the bathroom to have a nice, hot shower and get ready for the day.

❦

"What are you wearing for graduation?" Claire asked as she was flicking through a rack nearby. I was looking at a rack of jeans. We'd driven to Manchester for the clothes, because we didn't have a mall in our town and I needed a lot of clothes.

I shrugged and put a pair back, not liking the colour.

"I don't know, a summer dress maybe?" I suggested, moving over to another display of jeggings.

"So... Tyler's cute," She grinned and handed me a pile of clothes and tugging me towards the changing rooms.

"Yeah, I guess," I answered, trying to sound casual but my heart was pounding.

Did she know? Was she going to tell Mum? What would Mum do...

"I'm sure his girlfriend's really sweet, what's her name? Farley...?" She trailed off, and I let out a breath of relief.

"Farrah?"

"That's the one! She's stunning," Claire said, speaking through the curtain as I tried on outfits.

"They're not together, but yeah, she's a model."

I tugged on a pair of jeans, but they were too tight and dug into my hips. I let out a deep breath and struggled out of them before looking at the size and my heart dropped to the ground.

They were an 8.

"It's okay. It's just a number..." I murmured to myself, trying to calm my racing heart as the number swam before my eyes.

I was a size 4 two months ago.

My breathing quickened and I squeezed my eyes shut, counting to 10 in my head to try and calm myself. My back slid down the wall and I took long deep breaths to try and stop the attack I felt coming on.

"Can I come in?" Claire asked, but was already pulling back the curtain. I started to protest but it was too late.

"Bri? What's wrong?" Claire asked hurriedly and pulled the curtain shut behind her, giving us some privacy. I shook my head and sniffed, willing the tears that had sprung to my eyes to go away.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

She gave me a look that meant business and crouched down in front of me.

"What's wrong?"

"It's so stupid..." I said quietly and held out the jeans, with the size facing up. Claire understood instantly and pulled the jeans out of my hand, throwing them somewhere behind her. Her callused hands grabbed my face and she forced me to look at her.

"Don't ever say that's stupid, okay? You're gorgeous, and it's just a number. You look great, okay? You've come so far. Don't let a number ruin this for you."

She looked so certain that a small part of me believed her. I let her pull me up from the ground and she wiped my eyes, placing a kiss on my forehead before disappearing out of the curtain with the promise of returning soon. When she came back, she had a new pair of jeans and refused to let me see the size, and I didn't fight. My therapist had told me that one of the best ways to deal with this situation is to just avoid looking at the size.

It's just a number.

❦

Tyler's face flashed through my mind, and I gingerly touched my lips, butterflies erupting in my stomach as last night came back to me. His hand on my hip, his lips on mine, my hands on his stomach...

"Who are you thinking about?" Claire grinned from the other side of the table we'd grabbed in the food court. I picked at the butter chicken in front of me and tried to hide the smile on my face, but to no avail.

It wasn't going anywhere.

"No one," I smiled and took a large bite of the butter chicken, savouring the flavour as it went down my throat. I'd missed english butter chicken.

Claire was staring at me, her big blue eyes so like my Mum's holding mine in an intense stare. She wasn't going to give up.

"Spill," She grinned and took a long sip of her soda. I let out a small chuckle before leaning on my elbows.

"Okay, but I can't tell you his name," I said, one of her eyebrows arched, but she sat back and listened while I told her about how comfortable i felt with him, and his friends, and how he had helped me through the break-up with Aidan and been there for me unconditionally. I told her everything, except who he is.

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Please don't forget to vote/comment!! i hope you're enjoying the book so far, i have so many ideas for it ahhh.
- K