101 Days of Heartbreak Series Book 1: Letters of Heartbreak

Chapter 20

Dear Kamita, 

There's a Filipino saying which goes like this: "Pag gusto, may paraan. Pag ayaw, maraming dahilan". 

The excuses: 

1. Finals 

2. Yearbook Editorial Staff 

3. Graduation Ball Committee 

4. Job Application 

5. Vacation Plans with batchmates 

Why they're obviously just excuses: 

1. Finals were through. 

2. The Yearbook Editorial Staff were on the final layout. In fact, we're just arguing about the front cover layout. 

3. We hired an organizer; an expensive one courtesy of Ruyu, who did not want to spend his time arguing about trivial things such as souvenirs. We didn't have to do anything but sit through with her for one day to tell her our preferences. 

4. I don't know what I wanted to be yet so I had no intentions of applying soon. 

5. My vacation plans included Ruyu and Gene only. It meant spontaneity. It meant anywhere; anytime. We didn't need to plan. 

I had avoided you. It had been an automatic response after such a situation.  

I never went online on Skype, I didn't answer your phone calls, bribing Gene to tell you how busy I was, and I didn't read your emails.  

Time. I had told my friends to tell you I didn't have time. Ruyu and Gene of course knew about my pathetic excuse. But it's them. My friends. They would cover for me even if they don't agree with it. I could always count on them. 

Which was the reason why I was a bit grateful for the silence between you and me. I had a nice long talk with Ruyu and Gene, separately, which had made me realize I wasn't the only one with a stupid heart problem. I mean I knew there's a problem between my two best friends since they hadn't confessed to each other yet at that time, but I didn't know how actually hard it was to be in their place. 

Ruyu was suffering and I didn't even see it because I was too absorbed with my own pity party. Gene was suffering too, in a different way. 

So it's true that the ones who suffer the most are those who either smile a lot or look tough a lot-because the only way they could hide the pain was to hide behind emotional masks. 

---- 

"Let's go home," Ruyu demanded. It's already 7 pm and the two of them were still in campus at the Student Council office. Ateera volunteered to wait for the proof from the supplier and the supplier was already an hour late. 

"Ruyu, we still have to wait for the supplier," she answered casually as if it wasn't a big deal. "You can go home. I can catch a cab later or I'll use the train." 

Ruyu scoffed and leaned towards her, his nose almost touching hers. 

"Stop making excuses. We both know why you volunteered for such a task. You hate waiting and here you are, volunteering for it." 

"I am being responsible. Shut it, Ruyu," Ateera responded, sounding irritated. 

"Look at you. You're acting like a girl on her period." 

"FYI. I am a girl and I have my period every month." 

"I know, but you're acting like a girl on her period every day." 

Ateera frowned in defeat. "Just stop, okay? I don't need this right now. Just leave me in peace." 

He sat back down on his chair. "Maybe I should just get you pregnant so I can marry you and we'll both be free from these heart problems."