101 Days of Heartbreak Series Book 1: Letters of Heartbreak

Chapter 23

Dear Kamita, 

It's been a month now. I think this is the longest we have stayed away from each other. I would have felt guilty, but you haven't contacted me too so the guilt has diminished by at least 50 %. 

Though it seems the pain increased by 50% too. 

I wonder how you're doing right now. 

I do miss you.... I really really do.  

--- 

Sashimi has his head on Ateera's lap as she stared at the black screen of her still-turned-off laptop. Her dog kept on looking up at her as if he understood her predicament. Ateera swore that Sashimi has even shook his head once or twice. It made Ateera want to change his name to Okonomiyaki for revenge. But then Gene would probably suffer most from it and will result with him shortening the name to Oko or Yaki.  

Ateera can almost feel the insult Sashimi will surely feel. 

"Damn," she muttered as she stroked the dog's fur. "I am amusing myself. Why is it that when I need them the most, those two are always inaccessible?" Gene and Ruyu had both gone out for the evening with the former asking the latter for a Guys' Night Out. Of course Ateera wouldn't even dream of destroying the happiness that each had felt--- she ships GeneYu after all--- but now she can't help but feel a bit sad that she's all alone when she least wants to be alone. 

Well, Sashimi is with her, but her dog is currently bored out of its wits. Probably because Ateera has done nothing but sigh in the past few hours. She refuses to cry this time. She has been silently crying in the first couple of days. She knew Ruyu and Gene have a hunch that something has happened (she couldn't really hide anything from those two), but she refuses to budge. 

"I hate this," she whispered to herself-a contradiction to what she usually feels when she's surrounded by silence. She can't help but think about her life for the past month and realized she was indeed fucked up. Her relationship with Kamita was like a security blanket around her; but now that it's gone, she feels a bit exposed as if anyone can hurt her anytime. She has started to depend on it without her knowledge. And the sudden epiphany makes her want to empty her stomach from its microwaved pizza dinner. 

"Fuck this shit!" she shouted, startling Sashimi, who hopped out away from her and walked out of sight. 

"And now my dog even hates me," she whispered. She shook her head in annoyance and finally switched on her laptop. When it opened to reveal the desktop wallpaper, she immediately disconnected it from its WIFI connection to avoid checking out her Skype and social networking accounts and decided to work on the Internal Communication Plan Demi had begged her to do. 

Demi's bitchy voice and her bad-ass face would be enough to distract her from a more melancholic thought. Ateera opened a blank document and stared at it with determination in her eyes. She typed the words Communication Plan # 11111119 and smiled. 

Ryu and Gene came home with her fast asleep on the couch, her face tear-streaked, and an opened, almost blank page of an MS Word Document. Gene quietly carried her to her room while Ryu picked up her laptop to save some other documents she might have left unsaved. 

The only page he saw opened was that blank document with the title on top and a few words below, which prompted him to close it and put it in the Recycle Bin. 

The words below the title were: I hate you, Kamita. 

----- 

It was already lunch break, but she hasn't stood up from her seat. The moment she arrived in the office, Demi has been on her case. She has assigned piles and piles of work for her and most of them were needed before the end of the day.