101 Days of Heartbreak Series Book 1: Letters of Heartbreak

Chapter 22

BOOK II: The Pink Thread of Misapprehension 

Dear Kamita, 

Our relationship had stages. 

The first stage was Innocence. I knew I loved you, but it had started as pure, non-romantic, twitch of the heart. I just loved you--- I mean, love you. Although by the end of that stage, I had known my love wasn't even close to innocent. 

The second stage was Confusion for the simple reason that I just obviously don't know what to do with you or my feelings.  

A week ago, I just heard a surprising news from you. Well actually, you were surprised I was surprised because you swore you told me about it. I was sure you haven't though. Or maybe my mental and emotional filter just both worked so everything about her just swished past like a gust of breeze. 

So you had broken up with Alexandrie weeks ago. Come to think of it, I didn't even notice that you had stopped talking about her.  

When I asked you why you broke up, you just said you had fallen apart--- cliché, wasn't it? The spark was gone; the passion was gone; and you can't just be together anymore. You said it had been a mutual decision.  

I listened to you of course, but I refused to voice out my opinion because I refused to feel. That was my only saving grace. I don't want to feel anything because I don't have the right to feel anything of the feelings I wanted to feel--- relief, happiness, and hope. 

I had been indifferent, which you surprisingly didn't comment on. We simply changed topics after that, as if you just didn't tell me you broke another girl's heart.  

So I told you about my job as a Communication Officer under Demi while I was still looking for the career I wanted to pursue. You told me about your upcoming movie, which you would co-star with one of your one-night stands, who according to you, had sucked badly on bed. Then I told you about Ruyu's day job as an intern in his family's company and his night job as a barista in a coffee shop he started with Gene. You told me about Ami-kun and the growing number of her suitors' names in your most wanted list. I told you about Gene's part-time job as a model, which probably had me drooling all over your screen because let's face it--- Gene's beautiful just like Ruyu.  

Damn. I'd totally do my best friends if they weren't so in love with each other and if I would get over the fact that it would be like incest. Er... well, I did do Ruyu once, but that was an accident and I didn't remember anything, thank goodness. 

So I could declare that our conversation had been comfortable just like the next conversations we had. I can't say it improved though. Still, it has been steady for a while.  

I was content. 

But then you weren't. And you just have to rattle the status quo again, you asshat. 

---- 

Gene had arrived in her office, pulling an irritated Ruyu behind him, announcing that Ateera should shut down her brain together with her computer so they could have dinner. 

She had immediately succumbed to the request.  

Gene had wanted pasta and so they found themselves an hour later sitting in a secluded corner at Le Soufflé. 

"So how was work?" Ateera addressed Gene, who was seated beside Ruyu contently eating his pasta. She didn't need to hear Ruyu's complaints about his because the two of them did nothing but email each other every day at work about how they needed to find what they really want to do so they can escape from this career incarceration. Gene was the only one who was at least enjoying his job. He was never the type to sit in an office chair, composing meaningful paragraphs or juggling significant numbers.