Not Based on a Lie

I'm So, So Sorry...

[Hey uhhh oops I haven't updated in a while. I wasn't quite sure what to do with this chapter, honestly, but I ended up finding a plan then having to shove most of that plan into next chapter, which should help pacing, honestly, but yeah. Sorry about the lack of update last week ^.^]

Gary's comment was met with a mix of responses, from eye rolls and groans to laughter, and even a few yells. Evan felt himself being dragged along as Jared took his hand and pulled him.

Evan sighed, thankful for his boyfriend. They both knew that if they'd been there just a moment more he would have panicked, all the focus being on them with nothing to distract him. 

They stopped at their lockers, which were right next to each other, and for once, Evan was very glad that was the case. The lockers went all through most of the hallways, each one decorated a different way, collections of stickers, paint and miscellaneous decoration that had built up over the years. 

Evan's Locker had been redecorated many times. hen he'd initially got it, it had been covered in glitter, pink, rainbows, and clippings of boy band members, which had led to a lot of teasing from his peers. He had changed how it was decorated many times, but now it was painted a muted blue, with the silhouette of a tree painted in black, his own name painted in white in the bottom corner, to show that not only was it his locker, but his work.

Jared's, on the other hand, was a mess of stickers. From fruit stickers to promotional brand stickers, stickers he'd bought from classmates and stickers that had come with magazines. Any sticker Jared had, it was on his locker. Students had been known to come by and stick random stickers to his locker, and the occasional piece of gum, which Even had often cleaned off before Jared could see. The collection was rather impressive, in Evan's eyes.

Evan watched as Jared opened his bag and pulled out a few more stickers. A small heart that he'd peeled off his lunch bag, a few from random stores around town, and one more. It seemed a lot more professional than others, like it had been made specifically for decoration.

Jared held up the sticker so Evan could see. It was a pride flag sticker, with a heart in white cut out of the middle. it had writing on it in black cursive, which Evan stared at for a moment, unable to make out the writing.

Jared seemed to notice his confusion, and grinned as he read it out "Love is love so shut the fuck up."

Evan laughed a little as Jared put the sticker in the middle of the top of his locker, making it the centre of attention.

"Where did you get that?"

Jared grinned again "Mom got it for me. She got one for each of us, and several people at work. She meant to order one but she 'accidentally' got eleven. I've had it for a while, I just didn't want to put it there because no one knew I was gay. I guess everyone knows about my mothers, but I just didn't feel like putting it there before I was out, y'know?"

Evan nodded. He wasn't quite sure why Jared hadn't come out, but he knew it rude to ask someone's reasons for not coming out. 

Evan opened his locker and placed his bag in, taking out his sketchbook and a small pencil case, putting them in a smaller bag. His first class was art, and he tended to keep to himself in that class. His teacher was very understanding of his not wanting to be near the other students, and often just let him sketch in the corner.

He watched Jared take out his laptop and a small notepad for his computer programming class, then closed his locker and offered His hand to Jared, who did the same, taking his hand as they walked through the hallway.

Walking with Jared meant he took another path to the art classroom, one that went closer to the computer lab. Taking this path meant he walked past a section of lockers he hadn't been past in ages. 

He noticed one of the lockers and paused next to it, pulling Jared to a stop next to him.

"What is it, Ev?" Jared looked at where he was staring "Oh..."

They were stopped in front of a locker that was painted black, with tiny stars hand painted onto it. They covered the locker in detail, some connected with thin lines of silver, mapping out constellations, showing that the person who painted it had taken their time to make them accurate.

The thing that was making Evan stop, however, was the hazard tape stuck over it, the flowers and notes at the bottom, the small messages scribbled directly onto the tape, as not to disturb the paint job on the locker itself.

He'd never paid much notice to it before now and hadn't seen it all year, but Evan could tell at a glance that this had been Connor's locker.

He felt Jared tug his hand gently, trying to get Evan to keep moving, but he was frozen in place, staring at the lines connecting Orion, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

Jared pulled with more urgency. "Evan, c'mon, we gotta go!" But Evan just stood there, continuing to stare, the tears rolling down his cheeks now.

Evan let his hand fall out of Jared's grip, falling limply to his side, his lip quivering as he tried to hold back the sobs that so desperately wanted to escape.

"I-I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry..." He whispered, feeling as if he was choking on the words.

He then felt Jared's arms wrap around his chest, holding him tightly.

"It's not your fault, Ev. It's really not. Just, come with me. You have to go to class." Jared spoke quietly, calmly, comforting Evan almost instantly. He nodded and let Jared pull away, taking his hand again, gripping it tighter now.

They walked in silence the rest of the way to the computer lab, at which point they hugged as Jared left for class, then Evan continued to walk silently, staring at the ground the rest of the way to his classroom.

As per usual, he sat on the floor under the window, and opened his sketchbook and started to sketch, tears staining the page as he drew the one thing he could think of.

~~~

Jared walked into English class a little over an hour later. He'd tried to find Evan after class, but was unsuccessful.

He arrived late, the teacher glaring at him for a moment before gesturing for him to sit in his seat. on his way, he noticed Evan in his usual spot, two rows behind him beside the window. Evan was focusing too intently on his book to notice Jared coming in, he seemed to have disconnected himself from the outside world, and seemed to be sketching.

Jared payed little attention in class, stabbing holes into his eraser with his pencil. He looked at Evan every so often to see him still drawing, though one time he found him lookign up at him. Jared smiled at him and Evan returned it, before going back to drawing.

Class ended and Jared walked over to Evan, who quickly slammed his book shut and shoved it in his bag.

"What were you drawing, Ev?"

"Oh! Uh, nothing!"

Evan smiled at him awkwardly then walked out of the classroom, Jared almost running to catch up with him.