Light in Dark Places

Chapter Five

When Seung-ri finally comes back into her room Joan is ready to burst into tears. She doesn't, somehow. Instead she wraps her arms around her sister and buries her face into her chest and holds on tight, hoping that if she holds on long enough it'll stop her sister from leaving her alone again.

"I'm taking you out of here," Seung-ri says, holding her back in that uniquely Seung-ri way that somehow conveyed 'I love you and will absolutely hug you because you need it' and 'I'd really rather not be doing this now, thanks' at the same time. Seung-ri had never been comfortable with long displays of affection, and it's actually comforting that aspect hasn't changed. Seung-ri is still Seung-ri. "We're going home."

"To Vineheart?" Joan says, looking up in hope and relaxing her hold on her older sister somewhat.

She doesn't miss the way Seung-ri winces. "No, I meant my—our home. Here, in Sahuaro."

"Lieutenant Kaas," Dr. Sancia starts, lurking in Joan's doorway, her hunched posture one gigantic flinch, "I can't stress enough how strongly I'm against your sister's removal—"

Seung-ri pulls away, keeping one arm looped around Joan, and standing tall and imperious. Seung-ri always had the best posture of anyone Joan knew—positively freakish in the sixteen year old girl she had been, but now very appropriate for her commanding role. "I am taking my sister."

And that's all she says.

Dr. Sancia flees the doorway.

Joan once again wonders just who her sister is now.

*

Seung-ri brought Joan clothes; jeans and a red dirt shirt that's two sizes too big for her. Joan swims in the shirt but feels comfortable. She belatedly remembers that she always wore shirts that were too big for her when she was younger and then she wonders why it took her so long to remember that fact about herself.

(There is a list of other things she wonders: why was it so easy to put on a bra, when she never had before. Why does she know what a red dirt shirt is).

Her sister also gives her a plain baseball cap. "It's best if you keep your head down. We don't want people knowing about you just yet."

(Joan wonders who that we is).

"Is it really OK for me to go with you?" Joan asks. She doesn't want to stay in the hospital, but even she knows something is wrong. She shouldn't have woken up. The Miserable don't wake up. There is the genuine chance that she is some kind of monster.

Are you Seung-ri's happy ever after? Or is this some other kind of story for Seung-ri?

"Absolutely," Seung-ri says, "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're fine. Everything is going to be fine."

Joan can't even argue with her. Seung-ri is the very personification of resolute. If she says it's OK for Joan to go with her, then it's OK for Joan to go with her. If she says everything is going to be fine, then everything is going to be fine.

*

Seung-ri drives them home. Joan spends a lot of time staring out the window because everything is new and different. Ugly, she thinks. Sahuaro is an ugly city. There is no grass anywhere, barely any trees (and the trees that are here are so stunted and barren they just seem sad). There is no green here.

"Can't we go home to Vineheart?" Joan asks, and then she flinches at how whiney the question sounds. It's the kind of selfish little sister question that Jisu all but accused her of being. She should immediately retract the question, but instead she just continues to whine, "Our Place is a Valley Place. You can't leave your Place."