Light in Dark Places

Chapter Thirty-Eight

"So you were sneaking out of the house. To make out with a boy."

Joan squirms in her seat. She had boldly proclaimed, "It was all my idea, so don't blame Benedict," because she knew between the two of them she was the least likely to be punished. But, she belatedly realized, she was also the most likely to be punished directly by the Kings.

She just didn't expect all three of them to be staring at her like the world's youngest, scariest, trio of parents.

"We weren't making out," Joan defends, aware that she must be blushing. "We were just, hanging out. Like, on a date."

"A romantic rendezvous in front of the protected quarters of another region's governor?" Jisu says, sounding amused. He's the only one in the room who is amused, although even his brows are furrowed in worry.

"It's not like we were staying there," Joan defends. "It's just—where we met."

The Kings stare at her long enough to make her regret the entirety of her life choices before Seung-ri sighs. "Hernandez, Nam, please let me talk to my sister alone."
The three of them exchange glances, a silent conversation that's as elegant and practiced as a dance. The two men move away and Jisu lightly claps Joan on the shoulder as he walks past.

When she's alone with her sister, Seung-ri stares at her with an expectant, Well? expression.

Joan looks down at her hands. "I know I shouldn't have gone out like that. I still don't think it's wrong."

"Joan—"

"What he's doing is wrong. I can't believe we have to trust someone like that. He can't just get away with—"

"But we do need him," Seung-ri interrupts. "Gods can do things that we, even Prodigies, cannot. Joan, we are not in the position where we get to do what we like. If we did whatever we wanted, we would be no better than dictators like Mathiessen. And Joan, we have to set ourselves to a higher example. And at all times, we have to think about what's best for this city."

Tears sting her eyes and Joan rubs them away. Reading in between the lines, Joan knows Seung-ri is saying exactly what Jude and Schwartz told her, Don't be a child, and the tears only make her seem more like a baby and she hates that.

"I know it sucks," Seung-ri says, and the gentleness in her voices is surprising, considering the fact that Joan knows what she tried to do was dangerous and stupid. "But we have to think about everyone who lives in this city."

The needs of the many, Joan thinks, and then she thinks about how much she has always hated that saying.

"I don't want you near Carl Mathiessen, or his god, or anyone else he brought with him. Do you understand?" Seung-ri says.

"He might approach me," Joan hedges.

"Then run the other way. Are we clear?"

"Yeah," Joan says, slumping in her seat. "We're clear."

*

"You were so quiet leaving last night. I didn't even hear you," Downing remarks.

Benedict hunches instinctively. He doesn't say anything. He concentrates on his food. A baked potato, this time, the kind stuffed with cheese and green onions and bacon on top. Before dinner, Downing had asked him if there was anything in particular he wanted to eat but Benedict had said no. He has never, for as far back as he can remember, ever had anyone cook for him before. He can hardly believe that Downing cooks at all. He's a full time instructor, and it doesn't seem like he should even have this time.