Wrapped in bed sheets that cling to my PJs,
Alone and in silence.
The clock blinks 11,
My favorite time is beginning.
But as a few minutes pass,
My blood sizzles and courses through my veins.
Fizzing.
Electric.
My heart seems to malfunction,
And its irregular beating consumes me.
My head swirls.
Tears form.
Not used to this,
Not this late at night.
My feet itch to run,
But my grasp on the bed is too tight.
Where can I run to,
To escape the nervous nothingness,
That chases me,
And threatens to consume me?
My eyes flicker to the door across the hall.
I throw back the covers and leap to my feet.
Tiptoe, on the brink of tears.
I can't wake my family.
Rush into the bathroom,
Slide door shut behind me.
Lift the shower curtain and slip through.
Hyperventilating.
Sit in the bathtub,
Alone and afraid.
Clutch my knees toward my chest,
Huddle.
Rock back in forth,
Attempting to soothe,
Glance wildly in all directions.
Curl my fingers tight around the curtain.
A few minutes pass,
No more shaking at last.
I might be okay.
We'll see.
Sit for just a few minutes more,
Until my mind is semi-stable.
Don't know what happened.
I don't get panic attacks by myself.
I stumble back to bed,
Sock feet scooting silently across the floor.
I cover myself,
Eyes wide in fear of myself.
Yet I am thankful in a way,
To have had one this late.
For, strange as it is,
I've found my safe place.
Huddled in a small corner of the house,
Behind shut door and closed curtain,
Comfort finds me once more.
YOU ARE READING
Poems from the Right Brain
PoetrySome silly, some not. Some lighthearted, some littered with thought. Some passionate, some numb. Some so clever, some outright dumb. Some more cautious, some bursting with tears. Some revealing memories, some unveiling my fears. So here's my heart...
