Black Coffee (Tara's Dream)|Dearest Diary, - Book 1 (unedited)

Lost Me There.

"He rejected me."

"What?" David says, turning on his heel to face me.

"Troy. He rejected me."

"What?" he says it again as a look of disbelief begins to cloud his face.

"How?"

"He only seems interested in me because of Bri." I reply noncommitally even though my mind still buried deep within those memories.

"How?" he asks for a second time, but this time I know he's questioning my reasoning rather than the means by which I was rejected.

"David, Troy is a 'good' guy and he will always try to live up to that name not matter what." I tell him sternly, pursing my lips together and furrowing my brows at the offending thought.

"I don't get it. How does that involve you or Bri?"

"You don't see it?" he shakes his in disagreement and I launch into a full explanation on the inner workings of Troy White's 'noble' mind.

Troy comes from a very traditional family. In fact, the entire White family is so traditional that they trace their lineage to the great Knights and Lords of the medieval times.They also believe that a family should always remain together no matter what.

Having been cut from that same cloth, Troy White will always do anything for his family even if it means making a matyr of himself and dating me because they approve or rejecting me because of a career vision that they have for him.

"But he didn't know that you were expecting Bri." David asks quizzically resuming the short walk towards Bridget. We've been out the entire afternoon until now, when I've decided to open up and share my 'fateful' past.

"No he didn't. He wanted nothing to do with me when it was just me and when he found out that I was expecting, he dropped to his knees and proposed."

"I still don't get it." David tells me shaking his head.

"How? How can you not. I just told you, he only wanted me because of Bri. Everything he has done is because of Bri. I love my daughter, but I don't think she is enough reason to get me chained to a man for eternity!" I reply finally exploding in his face.

"I don't know, it just doesn't add up."

I stop in my tracks and stare at him in frustration. It's clear enough to me and I don't get why it isn't to him. Maybe I have been right all along and the Male species is completely different from the Female.

"What part of I asked him about marriage and he said no is hard to get?"

"Come on Attara. You said it yourself. He was under pressure from his family to run for office. Maybe he wasn't thinking clearly and maybe the news about the baby gave him clarity."

"No, I don't think so. If it were true, Monica wouldn't hate me that much for not accepting his proposal. She thinks I ruined his career!"

"I don't know Attara. Have you ever talked to Troy about all this?"

"What's the point?" I deflate, dropping my head between my hands as I flop myself down on a patch of grass that is next to Bridget. He comes to a stop in front of me and leans his lower weight on the hood of the car.

"You can't know what you're missing unless you try. From what you're telling me, It sounds like all this is one big misunderstanding and maybe, just maybe if you did talk things out, you would soon realise that things are not as bad as you think. You're letting your fear and anger dictate your life for you and if you want to be happy, you will have to completely let go of all of that. Fear Attara, is the opposite of faith and it is not of God. In fact, the Bible says in second Timothy chapter one verse seven that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but the spirit of power, love and a sound mind. So, Attara you asked me to show you why I am happy, it's all in the Bible. Don't just read it practice it."