Black Coffee (Tara's Dream)|Dearest Diary, - Book 1 (unedited)

Chapter Nineteen.

Dearest Diary,

Remember that thought of what Troy's wrath would be like? Well, it is time to find out. I have always wondered as well, what this man would make me do to earn his forgiveness especially when I admit that I am the one wrong. Like they say, it should be a defining moment and even though I hate to have to admit, to admit my wrong doing I am kind of curious how all this will play along.

So, until then, wish me well.

Lots of love, ALD.

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"Hi, " The man looks up from his book and gives me a nod.

"How was your day?" he asks me.

"It was fine..."

"And?" he smiles. This man, apparently can do no wrong.

"I owe you an apology. I was so brash and disrespectful and I am ashamed of myself. That should never have happened!" I finish off all in one breath and close my eyes not ready to see what his reaction will be. A rustle of paper, then movement and I feel a presence in front of me.

" Open your eyes Attara." I can hear the laughter in his voice as well as a hint of seriousness in his tone. How he is able to combine them both I cannot tell, but that is Troy White for you and he is truly amazing.

"No, I can't." I know that I am acting childish but he brings out this side of me. He also does not seem to mind it and it makes me realised how very lucky I am. As his hands move to circle my waist and draw me closer, my eyes pop open to stare into his own set of blues that are now looking down at me with love.

" Attara..." he says softly. "I love you and I am not sure if you understand what that truly means. However and not to insult your intelligence, it means that I am always here for you
Always, to help carry the burdens, to share in your joy and your sorrow and no matter how gruesome it gets, to go through the motions of life with you. For these reasons it would honor me greatly if you'd just feel free to open up and truly share your feelings with me." as he finishes, hishand reaches up and wipes off a stray tear that has escaped my eyes. To say that I have been caught speechless would be an understatement. His words have moved me as I know he is right in saying that I never open up to him. I have not so in a long time and may if I had, maybe if I had those years ago then probably our lives would have been so different as we would have saved ourselves a lot of misery.

" You are my family" my thoughts are cut short as he continues to tell me. "And even though I have not yet asked you, to me you'll always be my better half."

"But I am so chaotic!" I manage a word before his finger moves up to silence me.

"I know, that's what makes us perfect and I hope you will soon be able to see it that way so we can finally be together and build that life we always dreamed about."

I nod.

"Come on I need more than that."

"Okay."I reply in a voice so small that I am sure it resembles a mouse squeak.

"Now I know that the past has been... Well, painful. I have hurt you, my family has hurt and there has been a lot issues. A lot of unresolved issues between your own family because of me. Trust me Attara. It has never been my intention to harm you and because of that, because of the thing with my own mother, I can never force to take the step that is before us.

No. I cannot force you but I can only hope that you accompany me and I promise, I promise that I will be beside you every step of the way and even if you are not ready, I'll respect that too as I am sure we will find a way through that too, okay? " I nod again. "yes, I can handle anything but seeing you cry, seeing you all torn up and feeling stressed and me being unable able to help. Locking me out of your life is the worst thing you can ever do to me my love. And smile," he says as he wipes of another tear from my eye. I hate to see you cry. Be mad be ferocious but please don't cry, okay?"