Tanhayian (Complete✔)

10. Tanhaiyaan

Hello!

Tanhaiyaan,  loneliness, andar se hollow feel ho ra h. Aisa lag rha h Jaise kuch bacha hi na ho zindagi mei,  chalti ja rhi hoon,  bas chalti hi ja rhi hoon mai,  bina kisi maqsad, bina kisi vajah ke, 1 aise raste mei jiska koi end ni h aur naahi kabhi is safer mei kisi humsafar ke milne ki ummeed. Kuch ni h,  kuch bhi nhi,  sivae in tanhaiyon ke,  is akelepan ke.  Zindagi kat rhi h bas, ise ji nhi pa rhi hoon! Kabhi kabhi toh ghutan si mehsoos hoti h,  aisa lgta h ki aisi zindagi se toh achha khud ko khtm kr loon!

Pat itni weak ni h Sanyukta Agrawal.  Aur na hi kabhi itni weak ho skti h ki itna stupid decision. Lekin shayad zindagi ko abhi aur tests lene h. Kya kru kuch samajh nhi aa ra,  mann krta h zor se cheekh cheekh kr sbko btau ki kitni takleef mei hoon,  pr jb koshish krti hoon toh gale se aawaz hi
nhi niklti.  Isse bura kuch ni ho skta,  ye soch soch kr pta ni kya kya dekh liya zindagi mei,  pr ab bas,  bht  ho gya,  aur bardasht ni hota mujhse,  ye tanhaiyaan mujhe khai ja rhi hai aur mai  kuch nhi kr ra rhi,  kuch bhi ni.

Kisi ki kismat itni kharab kaise ho skti h? Kisi ke sath itna bura kaise ho skta h? Aur ye sb km tha jo meri takleef badhane ke liye fir se vo meri zindagi mei aa gya?  Aur, fir se mujhe usse pyaar ho gya! Itni buri hoon kya mai ki jb meri zindagi mei thodi khushiyan aa rhi hoti h usi waqt usse double takleefein aa jati h?

Mai chal rhi hoon,  bas chalti hi ja ri hoon,  is raste ka end ni h ye jante hue bhi chal ri hoon. Vahan koi h,   Mai unke paas ja ri hoon, Mai unke paas Jana chahti hoon. Maa, Maa yaha!  Mai inke paas jana chahti hoon,  Mai bhag ri hoon pr ja ni pa rhi, mai koshish kr ri hoon pr kuch ni ho ra,  mujhe unke paas jana h,  Maa,  mai finally ja pa rhi hoon,  mai bhag rhi hoon pr isse pehle mai un tk pahuch pati vo gayab ho gyi,  she disappeared in front of my eyes!  No this can't be,  I want her,  I really need her!  "Maa " Mai cheekh rhi hoon pr vo ni aa rhi,  koi ni aa rha,  koi ni sun ra,  koi to suno,  mujhe maa chahiye, koi to suno! 

Papa,  vo vahan papa h,  mujhe unke paas jana h,  Mai bhag rhi hoon pr mai pahuch pati usse pehle vo bhi chale gye, Bhai,  bhai h vahan, pr mere uske paas jane se pehle vo bhi chala gya, koi toh ruko,  koi toh suno,  Mai kb se bula rhi hoon koi to aa jao!

Vardhan sir,  Vardhan sir aa gye,  mujhe pta tha vo meri help krenge,  Vardhan sir,  vo bhi chale gye,  sb chale jate h,  sb!  Koi Kyu ni rehna chahta mere pass?  Itni buri hoon kya mai?  Koi toh ruko,  koi toh aao! 

Parth,  Vidushi,  Meera,  mujhe pta tha ye mujhe akela ni chodenge,  Mai janti thi,  mere touch krte hi vo bhi chale gye,  mujhe chod ke vo bhi gye!  Kyu sb ja rhe h? Kyu sb mujhe chod rhe h? Koi toh vapas aa jao! 

Randhir,  vo Randhir vahan khada h,  mujhse itni door,  mai uske paas jana chahti hoon pr ja ni pa rhi,  vo bula rha h mujhe,  pr mai ni ja pa rhi,  Randhir rukna mai aaungi,  Mai aaungi tumhare paas,  kahi mt jana plz,  mt jana Randhir,  mai aa rhi hoon,  mt jana Randhir,  Randhir nhi,  mt jao Randhir,  plz Randhir nhi,  nhi plz plz ni Randhir,  Randhir.

"Randhirrr" I shrieked and sat up on my bed with a jerk,  the same dream,  again!  I was sweating by now as usual,  I'm having this same dream for an year now but still I'm not used to the after effect.  I've been consulting a psychiatrist regarding this but he just repeats the same thing again and again,  "You need to find yourself a partner Sanyukta,  you need to search love,  that's the only medicine you need. " His constant preaching of love has gotten on my nerves and I've shouted on him quite a few times but he being the great friend he is,  just laughs at me!

I looked at the alarm clock beside me and it showed 10 am,  by now Meera and Parth must have got my letter,  they all must be now aware of my absence and may be convinced too that I had to leave because of an emergency regarding work! Except Parth Meera and Randhir,  nobody else knows the real reason of my departure. I have also switched off my cell phone to prevent any calls or messages from anyone.  Today I just wanna be alone! Away from everything and everyone!  This day is just for me,  it's just mine. I want this day all for myself!