Love, it isn't simple

Broken hearts

I left my purse back at home so I have no choice but to go back. It's just going back and forth. Repetitive.

It's annoying.

I love my mom, I love the dogs I love de- I can't say that. Not after I've left him. Over and over again..well only twice but still! It's too many. I left once today and I left yesterday.

My heart isn't exactly broken. I'm disappointed with my life so far. The fact that I can't even continue my life for 10 months until a hell hound comes to tear me to shreds. I can't commit to this life, I don't want to make more people care about me. It'll only make dying harder.

My mom doesn't know about the deal. She woke up in a hospital, half dead, and I told her a bear attacked her. Of course that wasn't a bear. It was a hell hound. I don't know why it attacked us but I got away pretty easily as it preferred my mom. My mom told me to go, to run far away. So I did. I ran out of the barn, down the lane and headed toward town. But I stopped, unconsciously, and ran back. I couldn't leave my mom there alone, to get attacked by a ghost, which is what I thought it was but I did some research while my mom was in hospital. What I saw was devastating. My mom curled up into a ball on the ground, hands clutched above her head crying and coughing up blood.
"MOM" I yelled and immediately fell to her side, unaware of what was next to her."Mom are you ok?!"
"Baby," she started, coughing a little and spitting out the blood that resides in her mouth, "Go away, you're gonna get hurt..it's right next to me"
I looked next to her and saw and indent on  the hay, on the floor. It looked like a paw. I looked around the room and saw blood splattered nearly around on the walls, not a lot but enough to make my mom weak.
I told my mom I would go and get help but she grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and said, "Go"
I looked at the barn door for a minute, but when I looked back to my mom she was flat in the floor, her body relaxed and no pulse. I kicked and screamed over and over again until I fell to the ground in a heap of tears. I crawled over to my moms limp body and placed her head in my lap. I looked at her beautiful green eyes for what I thought was the last time. But straight after I took her to the hospital, I left her with a nice nurse and went to a nearby motel, I booked a room and sat on the bed, eyes filled with tears, beer open and laptop on my lap. I started doing research to find out who he was, what he did to her, when this was planned to happen,and why, why did he do it!