Okay, so i'm new to this, advice please?
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I Think I'm Being Followed: Chapter 1:
I see you.
Jack:
'Today, a day like no other, when the oh-so-sexy Jack Johnson confesses his love, to the beautiful Jane Wright...who doesn't know I exist. This is ridiculous.'
I know, I know, talking to my own reflection is a sign of low self-esteem, or whatever but I cant help it, I don't think im that great looking, and according to all those self-help psychologists, I have like, zero confidence. I mean, who wouldn't in my situation? I'm living in the shadow of my older brother Matt, the so-called Sex-God of West London. I would say that he has the right to have a huge ego, I would if I were him, but he doesn't, he may get an endless line of girls willing to be taken back to his 'bachelor pad' but he's always been a really decent guy, to me at least.
I suppose that deciding to share a flat with him, wasn't such a bad idea, never the less it was an idea engineered by our parents, meaning that there was some secret motive behind it all.
Anyway, back to the reason I'm attempting to boost my confidence whilst talking to myself in a mirror, for the past year or so, I've become what some may call 'infatuated' with a goddess of a woman, who works part time at the local dry-cleaners. Needless to say I've been spending a fortune on dry-cleaning this past year, well after many internal debates I have reached the point where I wish to tell my ladylove how I feel. Or at least ask her on a date, whatever works best for her. To do this, however, I need confidence, which is where Matt comes in, except that Matt is still asleep, and if I spend one more minute sitting around waiting for him to wake up ill go insane due to nerves. So, time to go on the offensive, and enter the lair of the Sleeping Sex God.
Every time I walk into his room, im always taken aback by how clean it is in there, you'd expect him to be sloppy. Apparently not.
I decided that the best way to wake him would probably be to shake him or something, being me I took it one step further, and basically threw my self on top of him, don't ask why, it seemed like the right thing to, ha.
Surprisingly enough, he was already awake, and my little energetic outburst didn't seem to put him in the best of moods, but nevertheless he got up, so it seems my efforts were successful.
It took Matt a while to 'wake up properly' and I think I was able to contain my nerves until the moment arrived when he turned to face me and said; 'So little brother, you've found yourself a girl, I think that she needs to be deemed worthy'
And with a wink in my direction and a broad grin on his face he headed into his room to get dressed, coming out 5 minutes later looking great, proving how effortless it is for him to look good. He seemed to ignore my silence, heading towards the door with me in tow, saying something along the lines of 'Show us the way then' in an incredibly cheery tone, which I would say was slightly strange for this early on a Friday morning.
Which is precisely how I found myself standing across the street from Sparkles Dry Cleaners, staring into the front window, waiting for Matt to leave the newsagents, where he went because it seems he just had to have a Mars bar.
I feel almost mesmerised by her, she's so beautiful, and I can't understand how I went this long without wanting to do this, without wanting to tell her how I feel. There's a tap on my shoulder and Matt is thrusting a pack of Gum and a newspaper in my face, I hastily take them and the quizzical look on my face prevents me from being able to ask about this before Matt says 'The gums for your breath and the newspaper is to give you something to talk about, and this,' he says whilst waving a multipack of Mars Bars in my direction 'is for me' and with a somewhat cheeky grin on his face, he proceeds to rip open the pack, take one bar and swallow it almost whole in under 30 seconds. Once again proving why I look up to my 11-month-older brother.
After chewing the gum and having skim read practically the whole newspaper, Matt feels that I am ready to engage in what I see as the Wooing Of The Future Mrs Johnson. He doesn't seem to be that optimistic, saying that with my attitude I'll be lucky to get one date. I proceed to tell him that, as he has neither seen nor spoken to the beautiful creature I am about to introduce him to, he has no idea about how she will react.
By this point we'd reached the Dry Cleaners entrance and I eagerly pull out my paper and pack of gum in the hopes of striking up a deeply invigorating conversation with my future wife, and perhaps even offering her the gum, whilst attempting to 'earn her favour', as the Knights of the Round Table might say.
It is my belief that my plan is going well, Jane is dealing with a particularly displeasing customer and I feel that seeing me, and hearing my proposition will immediately brighten up her day.
The customer leaves and the dazzling smile of my one true love lights up, although to my dismay, it seems that it is not because of me, however my hopes do not falter. Until, that is, I hear the first thing she says; 'Matt! It's been so long! 3 years almost, oh I've missed you!' not only are these words totally the opposite of what I was hoping to hear, they also completely destroy that futuristic fantasy of mine, where Jane and I are happily married expecting our first child, call me a hopeless romantic, but I really did imagine this.
Matt responds to this unexpected occurrence by striding up to the counter and kissing my lovely lady on both cheeks. Well it's better than on the lips.
He then uses his free hand - the one that isn't holding on to Jane's - to pull me over, my immediate thought being 'I hate myself, I hate him, why is he doing this to me?' which disappears however the minute he casually places my hand on hers, and she doesn't pull away!
Although this is a huge gesture on his part, I can't help feeling slightly resentful of their history, so much so that I am barely listening to their conversation. Deciding that maybe I should be paying attention, I catch the last part of Matt's sentence; 'Okay, so Jackie-boy and I will be at your place at 8o'clock tonight, we'll see you later'
I feel slightly confused, what just happened?
But then Jane says 'Yeah, it should be cool, Sarah will be up for that, I'll see you tonight Matt' and gives him a friendly smile, I'm almost ready to explode with rage, until she adds 'I'm looking forward to our date Jack' with an almost shy look on her face. Confusion aside, I can safely say that im overwhelmed with excitement, maybe bringing Matt along wasn't such a bad idea after all, I feel gratitude towards him above all else, I mean realistically speaking, I would never have gathered the confidence to speak about anything other than the dry cleaning collection that I had come to pick up, which I've just realised, I've forgotten.
Well that's too bad because I don't think I would make it back there without the butterflies in my stomach causing the molecular combustion of me. Hahahahaha, oh god, uncontrollable laughter, and its not just in my head, no wonder the neighbours think im crazy.
Well I guess it gives people on the underground trains something to stare about, as that's where I am, on the Underground that is, on the way to work, as a personal assistant to the newest hot-shot British Movie Director, you'd think I love it, but its not that great, I don't get to meet any of those important movie people, I just push pencils, do paperwork, stuff like that. I spend most of my time planning my fantasy wedding to Jane, or doing the regular 10 till 3 work stuff, you know, joking at the water cooler, sending fake requests to the snobs in Human Resources, because strangely enough my work involves one of the big skyscrapers in the middle of London, not the middle of a movie set in some exotic far away country, oh no, Mr Cohen has his most 'helpful' assistant for that. Basically just because I'm not an incredibly sexy 19-year-old like Mellanie, I don't deserve to travel. Humph. Not that I mind of course. I have Jane, but it would be nice to get some sort of recognition.
Not wanting to ruin my deliriously good mood with even a hint of jealousy i force my inner monologue to stop complaining. Getting get back to the most important plan of the day, deciding what incredibly romantic outing make Jane fall in love with me.
Thinking of Jane, I wonder how her day's going? I do this a lot, think about Jane I mean. Although after this morning, small thoughts of jealousy are already contaminating my near perfect fantasy of her. I mean, she said she'd missed him, but I didn't hear what he said in reply; they wouldn't get together would they? Matt wouldn't do that to me, would he?
