the lockbox [richie tozier x eddie kaspbrak]

007

"I'm thinking-" Richie tries as he steps into the room and shakes his hair out like a dog. They're at Mike's farm in one of the barns to avoid the downpour of rain that suddenly occurred. Of course Richie was the only one to get caught in it, Eddie thinks he looks like a drowned rat.

"Don't hurt yourself." Stan deadpans, always the one to make bored comments at Richie.

"Fuck you, Stan." Richie says as he eyes the room for a spot to sit. They're all sitting on stacks of hay -well not Eddie, that's too dirty for him. Richie takes a spot next to Mike and looks at the smallest boy of the group. "Wanna sit on my lap, Spaghetti?"

"Never in a million years." Eddie fires back and leans against the post in the middle of the barn, acting as if his short legs are tired from standing here for almost an hour. God knows he'll be sitting on that hay soon, the thought makes him cringe.

"You sure? Your mom sat on it nice and long last night," He winks, "actually my lap is fucking sore, you wanna sit on my face instead?"

"Beep, beep Richie." Everyone says in unison. Eddie's face red with anger, embarrassment and fear of that fucking box in his brain. His asexual life. He hasn't thought about it too much and that's saying something because Eddie usually overthinks everything. Richie hasn't mentioned it either, in fact he seems to be distracting Eddie by hanging out with him more and more. It worries Eddie.

"You flirt with Eddie harder than you do anything else in your life." Mike says.

"Ew, don't say that. Eddie is my stepson, I can't flirt with him. That would be incest." Eddie fake gags at him, Richie winks.

"How do you come up with these terrible jokes?" Mike asks with a hint of humor. Richie just shrugs and shakes more water out of his hair. Eddie stares at the curls with interest, he adds wet haired Richie to his 'cute boys' box. I mean -what no no no. That's not right...right?

Eddie shakes his head. So annoyed at himself. Why can't he just think fucking normally? Why is he always have these fucking thoughts and crises? Why-

"Eddie?" Bev asks from next to Eddie. She left her spot next to Ben and now is standing in front of him, blocking his view of Richie. Thank god. Or not thank god. Ugh he doesn't know.

"Huh?" He asks her, crossing and uncrossing his arms.

"I asked if you had any wet wipes in your fanny pack. My hands are sticky for some reason." She raises her eyebrows at him as he nods and digs out a wipe for her.

"Here you go." His voice is quiet but his brain is loud.

"Thanks." She takes it. "Are you okay?" She whispers the last line, not that anyone is listening anyways. Bill and Mike are loudly discussing their hatred for their gym teacher.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He lies and after three minute of her searching his face for the lie she goes to sit back down. Richie comes back into view and he's staring at Eddie. He looks odd but when they make eye contact he smiles and winks. Eddie looks away.

"Hey Eddie?" Richie shakes water out of his ear. Eddie doesn't respond and instead shoots him a look in questioning. "Don't freak out but there is spider behind you."

And of course Eddie freaks out. He jumps like a cat high into the air and lands on Stan who just so happens to be the closest to him. Of course his panic lasts mere seconds because Richie's loud laugh is echoing through the barn.

"Fuck yes!" Richie shouts with a hand on his ribs and his eyes closed. Eddie gets off of Stan with an apology and he turns to Richie. He's annoyed, he's pissed, and he's not going to sit here anymore.

"Fuck you Richie. You're a goddamn twat." He spits out at the other boy. Of course this is just Eddie taking his self-hatred and vomiting it up on Richie. Said boy stops laughing immediately and frowns at Eddie.

"You're not seriously mad at me?" Eddie huffs, crossing his arms. "Oh, Eddie Spaghetti-" Richie tries but Eddie doesn't stand for it.

"Go choke." He tells the boy, stomping past him and towards the barn door. They're making a scene, it's quiet in the barn with all the other losers' watching with mild interest. Eddie furious and Richie apologetic over such a minor event. Richie follows Eddie out of the barn, thankfully he grabs Eddie's wrist right before he can walk out from under the lip of the barn roof. Staying dry for just a bit longer.

"Ed's, why are you making such a big deal out of nothing?" Richie asks, a look of annoyance on his face. Eddie sighs, looking at the falling rain wishing to be just like it –less complicated and sinking deep into the earth. A raindrop, that's what he wants to be. Fuck, he's losing it.

"Sorry," Eddie rubs his face, "I'm just angry and taking it out on you." And your fucking cute face and big glasses. Fuck that shit, Eddie thinks.

"Wanna fuck it out?" Richie chuckles and Eddie forces out a laugh.

"I think I'm going to go home. Tell the others I said goodbye." And there is a beat of silence where Eddie thinks Richie might say something before he turns and walks into the rain. He flips up the hood of his raincoat.

When he stares at the ceiling not even an hour later he peeks inside the box; he only cries for a few minutes. Slowly though, oh so slowly, he speaks the truth -the thing he fears the most- the thing that will hold him back from a relationship. The reason Eddie has so much anger and self-hate for himself.

He thinks about Richie's telling him that he's not broken. Eddie smiles and thinks that maybe he's right.