Five Years Later

Chapter Twenty-Three: The Child

The shock had finally worn off, and it was not a welcome farewell. The heavy sadness was ultimately suspended, and the empty numbness had vanished, but now Cas was simply sad. He longed for Dean, and one memory of the man he had lost was grounds to evoke another litany of tears and symphony of sobs.

"Cas, I need you to watch Joanna while me and the others go out on a run." Katharine smiled at Cas, and her expression was neither happy nor content. "I wouldn't normally ask this of you, but we are too low on supplies to give anything to Negan tomorrow when he comes. We are taking out all of the cars and everyone here who is able to go."

"Sure." Listlessly, Cas took Joanna from Katharine into his arms, trying not to remember that once, Dean had loved this child. "What time will you return?"

"Later tonight. You might have to put her to bed." Katharine chuckled. She swung her keys around one finger and stepped away toward the door. "She has dinner in the fridge and she has to be in bed by eight o' clock sharp. The clock is on the counter. Feel free to fall asleep—we will lock the door behind us when we leave."

"Okay." Cas mumbled. Joanna fit perfectly in his arms, which was something he didn't want to admit. She was sleepy, which was, based on his limited knowledge of children, grounds for her to be in a bad mood later. Katharine and the others filtered out one by one—the sound of walkers being slaughtered echoed through the corridors until the door was closed behind them and Cas was left alone with Joanna.

"I'm hungry." Joanna complained. She looked more tired now than before, her eyelids fluttering sleepily.

"I don't want to give you dinner right now." Cas glanced at the time looking for an excuse. "It's only five o' clock. Dinner will be at six."

Joanna's face twisted into a frown.

"No, I want to eat now," she whined. "I'm hungry now and I don't want to wait."

Tears welled in her eyes and Cas heaved a heavy sigh. He didn't feel like going into the kitchen because he would remember how he and Dean had stood together, dancing in the kitchen light to their song. Tears sprung to his eyes as well, but he tried to hold them back for Joanna's sake.

"Fine." Cas shifted her to his hip, struggling to keep her there as he moved to the kitchen. When they got there, Cas set Joanna on the counter by the clock and went to the fridge to search for her dinner.

After a few minutes passed of him looking for something edible to feed the child, Joanna kicked the cabinets below her by swinging her feet back and forth. She blurted out to Cas exactly what was on her six year old mind.

"You are too quiet." Joanna cried, She slid off of the counter and pattered over to Cas, her footsteps surprisingly heavy on the floor. "Why don't you talk to me?"

"What do you want for dinner?" Cas sighed, jerking away instinctively when Joanna tugged on the edge of his trench coat.

"Chicken nuggets." Joanna folded her arms in front of her chest and furrowed her eyebrows in concentration. "With lemonade."

Cas glanced back in the gaping door of the refrigerator, leaning down so that one hand was balanced on the edge of the door and the other on the top of the fridge itself. It was essentially empty—there were old, bruised fruits and nuts gathered from trees, what appeared to be the carcass of a squirrel, and in the very back of the fridge, still sealed in a plastic container from years ago, sat an item of food that Cas knew very well.

Somehow it hadn't aged except for the bitter, dry crumbles of crust that had fallen off over the years gone by. On one hand, it was mildly disturbing that it was still there after all this time, dusty and forgotten in the back of the refrigerator, but Cas was happy to see it regardless.