The War Inside

Old Habits

WARNING: THIS MIGHT TRIGGER SOMEONE, SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL READING THE END OF THIS. 

Splendid sat in silence as he picked at his food. The image of Fliqpy in the mirror stuck to him. Is that Flippy sees every day? No wonder he's so terrified of himself. I wouldn't want to see that either. Splendid thought to himself, shoving a forkful of whatever he made into his mouth. It tasted bland. 

Flippy looked at Splendid. He noted how his eyes furrowed when he was deep in thought. "Splendid? Is everything okay?" he piped up, setting his fork down. He worried he had did something wrong. Splendid immediately snapped his attention to the green haired boy. He smiled brightly. "Yeah! Sorry, I was just thinking," he said, slightly too over the top happy. Flippy frowned. He knew when someone was faking. He did it all the time. 

He shifted, debating if he wanted to press or not. He took a chance. "Splendid... you can talk to me, you know. What's on your mind?" he asked softly. He watched Splendid slowly put his fork down. You could tell he was carefully wording his next few sentences. "I... saw something that I didn't like or understand... I guess it's just bugging me," he said slowly, careful not to give up any information. From Flippy's reaction earlier, he hadn't seen what he saw. What did Flippy see?

Flippy nodded. "I understand. Sometimes we see things we don't want too. If it bugs you too much, you can always talk to Sniffles. He could offer some help," the veteran said. "He's helped me just by lending me his ear." Splendid nodded, smiling softly. "I might take you up on that offer."

The rest of the meal wasn't as tense. Splendid thought about what Sniffles might offer as he dried the plates. Flippy hummed softly to himself as he washed the dishes. Splendid found himself enjoying the small habits Flippy did without much thought. Flippy looked up at Splendid, thinking for a moment. He let the water run on his hand for a moment before he reached up and flicked the water onto Splendid's face. Splendid flinched from the unexpected attack and looked at Flippy, eyebrows raised. Flippy grinned. "You should cool down," he chuckled. Splendid smiled and flicked Flippy's forehead before putting the plate away. "I think I'm gonna go home and rest. I'll visit Sniffles tomorrow," he said, walking into the next room.

Flippy nodded. He grabbed Splendid's jacket and put it on the taller man's shoulders. "Okay. I promise he's a good listener if that's all you want. And don't buy into any of his experimental medicines. It doesn't end well," Flippy warned, frowning a little bit. Splendid nodded, not daring to ask about what may have happened. "Thanks for everything Flippy. Stay safe for me, okay?" he said as he stepped out the door. He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on the green haired man's head. Flippy blushed deeply and watched the hero fly off into the night. 

The veteran shut the door and leaned against it. His heart raced. He looked at the stairs and slowly went up them. He stood in front of his closed bathroom door. There was only mirror in the house, and he was deathly afraid to see what would be staring at him this time. He would much rather see Fliqpy than his own reflection. At least Fliqpy was the norm for him. 

Flippy hesitated. There was nothing but silence. There was no voice urging him to open the door or to walk away. There was no one telling him that this was a mistake. Not even laughter. Just the repetitive ticking of his grandfather clock downstairs. It sent chills up his spine. But yet, he pushed on. He took the knob and noted that the door squeaked. He never knew that before. 

He looked down at the tile. It was off colored white. Eggshell white maybe? There were areas where it was darker than other spots. Probably residue from old blood. Or maybe tears? It was so hard to tell. This room has seen it all. Every screaming match at himself, every tear shed, every drop of sweat, and even all the blood lost. 

Flippy let his eyes fall just above the mirror. He took a deep breath. Still silent. He looked at the mirror. His reflection stared back. He ran to the mirror, leaning across the sink. He pounded on the sides of the reflection. Tears welted up in his eyes. "Fliqpy! He's gone! You can come back!" he said harshly, his breathing increasing. His reflection cried with him. "Fliqpy!" he cried. "Where are you!? Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you?" he asked to no one. "Where are you?! You can't just leave!" he yelled. 

Anger replaced his sadness. Was it sadness? "Fliqpy, answer me! Where did you go!?" he yelled. His reflection only become more of a mess as Flippy did. He balled up his hands into fists. "You can't just leave me like this! What are you doing!?"

He slammed his right fist into the mirror. It rattled loudly. "Fliqpy!"

He struck the mirror again. 

"Answer me, dammit!"

Another strike. The mirror was beginning to crack under the pressure. 

Flippy trembled in rage. "I don't like this!"

The mirror shattered on this hit. The shards flew everywhere. Flippy's hand bled as some of the pieces stuck into his hand. It didn't bother Flippy. 

He struck what was left of the mirror, smearing blood everywhere. 

"I need you!" he screamed. 

He panted softly, sliding to the floor. His hand left a trail of blood on the wall. He shook violently. "I need you..." he whispered. He looked at the mess on the floor. With his bloody hand, he picked up the largest shard his could find. 

WARNING AGAIN: TRIGGER WARNING. YOU CAN END THE CHAPTER HERE IF YOU WANT. CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Even if Fliqpy wasn't there to urge him, he was going too. He wanted- no, needed, to feel something. Maybe this'll bring Fliqpy back. After all, it was his favorite thing to do to Flippy when they first met. 

Flippy stared at his clean arm. It had been so long since he even considered this. But if it brings Fliqpy back, then so be it. He didn't care at the moment. Fuck the medicine. Fuck his feelings. Fuck everything. He pressed the shard into his skin and let the old habits begin again.