The Hunchback of Adventure Bay

Chase meets Humdinger

(into the Palace of Justice, and end up in the dungeon, where a guard in the next room is whipping a prisoner, as Humdinger listens. Chase enters)

Humdinger: Guard!

Guard: Sir?

Humdinger: Ease up. Wait between lashes. Otherwise the older sting will dull him to the new.

Guard: Yes, sir.

(Humdinger turns to Chase.)

Humdinger: Ah, so this is the gallant Captain Chase, home from the wars.

Chase: Reporting for duty, as ordered, sir.

Humdinger: Your service record precedes you, Chase. I
expect nothing but the best from a war hero of your calibre.

Chase: And you shall have it, sir. I guarantee it.

Humdinger: Yes. You know, my last captain of the guard was, um, a bit of a disappointment to me.

(A whip crack and a scream interrupt Humdinger. Chase appears startled at the crack.)

Humdinger: Well, no matter. I'm sure you'll whip my men into shape.

Chase: Uh, thank you, sir, uh, very, uh, trem--uh, a tremendous honour, sir.

Humdinger: You come to Paris in her darkest hour, Captain. It will take a firm hand to save the weak-minded from being so easily misled.

Chase: Misled, sir?

Humdinger: Look, Captain--gypsies. The gypsies live outside the normal order. Their heathen ways inflame the peoples' lowest instincts, and they must be stopped.

Chase: (A bit surprised)
I was summoned from the wars to capture fortune tellers and palm readers?

Humdinger: Oh, the real war, Captain, is what you see before you. For twenty years, I have been taking care of the gypsies, one...by...one.

(On each of the last three words, Humdinger crushes one of three ants on a tile. He flips the tile over, revealing scores of ants scurrying around underneath.)

Humdinger: And yet, for all of my success, they have thrived. I believe they have a safe haven, within the walls of this very city. A nest, if you will. They call it the Court of Miracles.

Chase: What are we going to do about it, sir?

(Humdinger slams the tile back down upside down, and turns it, crushing the remainder of the ants.)

Chase: You make your point quite vividly, Captain.

Humdinger: You know, I like you captain. Shall we?

(He begins to leave, when the crowd below begins to cheer loudly.)

Humdinger: Oh, duty calls. Have you ever attended a peasant festival, Captain?

Chase: Not recently, sir.

Humdinger: Then this should be quite an education for you. Come along.